Post # 1
I have an etiquette question for you. I’m having my wedding in a different city (same state, 2 hr drive) and work at a small company (been working part-time for less than a year). The company has a family kind of feel to it, and I think everyone expects to be invited to the wedding. I can’t afford to invite them all, so I was thinking about inviting them just to the wedding shower, which will take place in the city we all live in. Would that be weird? Should I just not invite them to anything at all?
Post # 3
Simply put. No
If they want to throw you an at-work shower let them. It may be a surprise. But do not invite them to a shower and not the wedding.
If you cant invite them all (to the wedding), and you think they would all come, then you may want to consider only inviting your boss or no one. Its easier to understand budget problems than it is to explain favoritism.
Post # 4
We have showers at work all the time for colleagues, but I don`t think they should be invited to external showers unless they are also invited to the wedding.
Post # 5
Thanks! You both have been super helpful, and that definitely makes sense! 🙂
Post # 6
I say if you are not inviting them to wedding, it’s best to keep their involvement in “wedding related activities” to the minimum.
I think it’s safe to assume if I get invited to shower, I am invited to wedding. If you are friends with them, you can casually dropping hints the wedding is going to be very small and just with family and close friends. Fiance and you decided to not invite coworkers anymore as the venue can handle the headcount.
If they feel like they still need to throw you a shower at work, they will. Otherwise, I will just leave it. No reason to keep their hopes up right?
Post # 7
Absolutely do not invite your coworkers to a shower (or any other pre-wedding event) if they are not going to be invited to the wedding.
As PP said, if they take it upon themselves to throw you a workplace shower, that’s a different situation. Workplace showers (held at work and only including people from work) are the ONLY exception to the rule that shower guests need to be a subset of the wedding guests.
Post # 8
The only people who should be invited to pre-wedding parties must also be invited to the wedding. IF they decide to throw you a work shower, that is one thing because those are generally accepted as being ok, even if the co-workers are not invited to the wedding. But do not invite them to a separate shower.