(Closed) Co-Workers Invite to Shower?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4824 posts
Honey bee

Simply put. No

If they want to throw you an at-work shower let them. It may be a surprise. But do not invite them to a shower and not the wedding.

If you cant invite them all (to the wedding), and you think they would all come, then you may want to consider only inviting your boss or no one. Its easier to understand budget problems than it is to explain favoritism.

Post # 4
46404 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We have showers at work all the time for colleagues, but I don`t think they  should be invited to external showers unless they are also invited to the wedding.

Post # 6
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I say if you are not inviting them to wedding, it’s best to keep their involvement in “wedding related activities” to the minimum.

I think it’s safe to assume if I get invited to shower, I am invited to wedding.  If you are friends with them, you can casually dropping hints the wedding is going to be very small and just with family and close friends.  Fiance and you decided to not invite coworkers anymore as the venue can handle the headcount. 

If they feel like they still need to throw you a shower at work, they will.  Otherwise, I will just leave it.  No reason to keep their hopes up right?

Post # 7
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Absolutely do not invite your coworkers to a shower (or any other pre-wedding event) if they are not going to be invited to the wedding.

As PP said, if they take it upon themselves to throw you a workplace shower, that’s a different situation.  Workplace showers (held at work and only including people from work) are the ONLY exception to the rule that shower guests need to be a subset of the wedding guests.

Post # 8
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

The only people who should be invited to pre-wedding parties must also be invited to the wedding.  IF they decide to throw you a work shower, that is one thing because those are generally accepted as being ok, even if the co-workers are not invited to the wedding.  But do not invite them to a separate shower.

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