Cohabitating before catholic marriage

posted 2 years ago in Catholic
Post # 2
Member
1404 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

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luna91 :  I don’t have any personal experience with this, but my cousin had a problem like this. The church they wanted to get married in didn’t approve of co-habitation before marriage, so they ended up resubmitting the application claiming her now husband had moved out. In reality they hadn’t at all, as they had just bought a house and it would have been entirely unpractical, but for the sake of the church they just lied and said he moved back to his parents house.

They got married in that church, so I guess it worked out for them in the end.

Best of luck bee!

Post # 3
Member
5021 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

I have heard of cohabiting couples who were asked to live apart in the months leading up to their wedding.

Post # 4
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee

Chiming in from Canada. Having a Catholic wedding. The priest is aware we live together. He suggested abstaining from sex until the wedding, but it was just a suggestion. He’s going to marry us in March.

Post # 5
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

We had a Catholic wedding, and the priest knew beforehand that we were living together. It was a non-issue.

Post # 6
Member
7634 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think it just depends on the priest. I have a few friends who cohabitated before marriage and still got married in the Catholic church. I think most priests will just be happy you are finally making it legit. Maybe expect to be lectured a bit for it but I doubt the priest is gonna refuse to marry you or something. And if he does, would you really want someone whose values are so blatantly at odds with yours to preside over your wedding anyway? 

Post # 7
Member
377 posts
Helper bee

I would just not tell him honestly. 

Post # 8
Member
765 posts
Busy bee

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luna91 :  My church was relaxed about it and even the parish we had to go to for pre-cana. Maybe because we live in a major city where cohabiting is everyone’s “normal”. Be honest with the priest, because having the same address on your paperwork will be a giveaway anyway. I think many priests believe that marrying is “righting the wrong” so to say so I doubt you’ll have issues. The only thing the priest expected of us is to go to weekly mass and complete our pre-cana.

Post # 9
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2018

We are getting married in the Catholic church and we have been living together for over a year and a half now. The priest gave us the statistics regarding couples that live together and couples that don’t, but besides that it was not really an issue!

Post # 10
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

Fiance and I are getting married in the Catholic church and also live together. Our parish didn’t make a big deal of it. The priest and coordinator just noted it and moved along with the rest of the paperwork. We get married in two weeks! 

Post # 12
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

My fiance and I are both Catholic and living together, and it hasn’t been a huge problem. The Priest may give you a little bit of a lecture, but that’s to be expected. We knew going into it that cohabiting was a no-no, so we knew to expect a little wrist slap. They should not turn you away though! My fiance and I go to Mass every Sunday, and I think that can make up for a lot in their eyes. We have actually really enjoyed the process, so try to relax and be open!

Post # 13
Member
1651 posts
Bumble bee

Our priest didn’t ask, but we live in a region where co-habitating is a standard first step prior to engagement. I don’t know anyone who got engaged without co-habitating first. 

I’m also not baptised, but the priest didn’t mind that either and said it wasn’t an issue. 

Post # 14
Member
2168 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception/The Gallery

We lived together before our full sacriment wedding–we weren’t given a hard time about it. We followed their schedule of classes, etc., went to Mass every Sunday (and made sure to give so they had record of our attendance!). We had a good experience and I LOVED our full mass ceremony. 

Post # 15
Member
418 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
SoonMrsCrocker2 : “On average, researchers concluded that couples who lived together before they tied the knot saw a 33 percent higher rate of divorce than those who waited to live together until after they were married. Part of the problem was that cohabitors, studies suggested, “slid into” marriage without much consideration.”

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