Post # 1
My fiance and I are both catholic and set on a catholic wedding. We recently joined a local parish which seems very warm and inviting. We are meeting with the priest next month to pick a wedding date and discuss details. Here’s the thing…we live together. Have for nearly 3 years. I know, because I did my research, that the chuch can’t refuse to marry “cohabitors” for that in and of itself. But I have heard that some people have been given a hard time about it.
Has anyone here lived together prior to catholic marriage? What were your experiences with the priest like? Were you asked to postpone your wedding or judged in any way? Just want to know what I’m getting into…
Post # 2
I don’t have any personal experience with this, but my cousin had a problem like this. The church they wanted to get married in didn’t approve of co-habitation before marriage, so they ended up resubmitting the application claiming her now husband had moved out. In reality they hadn’t at all, as they had just bought a house and it would have been entirely unpractical, but for the sake of the church they just lied and said he moved back to his parents house.
They got married in that church, so I guess it worked out for them in the end.
Best of luck bee!
Post # 3
I have heard of cohabiting couples who were asked to live apart in the months leading up to their wedding.
Post # 4
Chiming in from Canada. Having a Catholic wedding. The priest is aware we live together. He suggested abstaining from sex until the wedding, but it was just a suggestion. He’s going to marry us in March.
Post # 5
We had a Catholic wedding, and the priest knew beforehand that we were living together. It was a non-issue.
Post # 6
I think it just depends on the priest. I have a few friends who cohabitated before marriage and still got married in the Catholic church. I think most priests will just be happy you are finally making it legit. Maybe expect to be lectured a bit for it but I doubt the priest is gonna refuse to marry you or something. And if he does, would you really want someone whose values are so blatantly at odds with yours to preside over your wedding anyway?
Post # 7
I would just not tell him honestly.
Post # 8
My church was relaxed about it and even the parish we had to go to for pre-cana. Maybe because we live in a major city where cohabiting is everyone’s “normal”. Be honest with the priest, because having the same address on your paperwork will be a giveaway anyway. I think many priests believe that marrying is “righting the wrong” so to say so I doubt you’ll have issues. The only thing the priest expected of us is to go to weekly mass and complete our pre-cana.
Post # 9
We are getting married in the Catholic church and we have been living together for over a year and a half now. The priest gave us the statistics regarding couples that live together and couples that don’t, but besides that it was not really an issue!
Post # 10
Fiance and I are getting married in the Catholic church and also live together. Our parish didn’t make a big deal of it. The priest and coordinator just noted it and moved along with the rest of the paperwork. We get married in two weeks!
Post # 12
My fiance and I are both Catholic and living together, and it hasn’t been a huge problem. The Priest may give you a little bit of a lecture, but that’s to be expected. We knew going into it that cohabiting was a no-no, so we knew to expect a little wrist slap. They should not turn you away though! My fiance and I go to Mass every Sunday, and I think that can make up for a lot in their eyes. We have actually really enjoyed the process, so try to relax and be open!
Post # 13
Our priest didn’t ask, but we live in a region where co-habitating is a standard first step prior to engagement. I don’t know anyone who got engaged without co-habitating first.
I’m also not baptised, but the priest didn’t mind that either and said it wasn’t an issue.
Post # 14
- Wedding: Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception/The Gallery
We lived together before our full sacriment wedding–we weren’t given a hard time about it. We followed their schedule of classes, etc., went to Mass every Sunday (and made sure to give so they had record of our attendance!). We had a good experience and I LOVED our full mass ceremony.
Post # 15
“On average, researchers concluded that couples
who lived together before
they tied the knot saw a 33 percent higher rate of divorce than those who waited to live together
until after they were married
. Part of the problem was that cohabitors, studies suggested, “slid into” marriage
without much consideration.”