(Closed) Cohabitating Before Engagement

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m not “waiting” but Fiance and I lived together for about 4 1/2 years before getting engaged. 

Post # 4
Member
2872 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I lived with my SO before he proposed.

Honestly, I wouldn’t recommend it especially if getting a proposal sooner rather than later is important to you.

In my experience, most guys, regardless of their best intentions, can get comfortable and lazy.

Post # 5
Member
2410 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I lived with my fiance for 3 months before he proposed so actually I think cohabiting sped the ineveitable engagement up.

Post # 6
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We lived together about 2 years before getting engaged. 

Post # 7
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I did.  For about a month.  He just kind of kept staying over more and more and before we realized it, he was pretty much living with me, except that his mail would go to his house.

I actually think he proposed fairly quickly because once we sat down and discussed the fact that we were really living together, he knew I wasn’t comfortable with it.

Post # 8
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

we were living together before getting engaged. It was for about a year. It worked well for us because we were able to know what it was like being together and sharing space.

Post # 9
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We lived together for 2 years and bought a house together before we were engaged.

Post # 10
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We lived together for 3 years before getting engaged. Even though I was a waiting bee for a while, when we first decided to move in together marriage was the last thing on my mind! After I had been waiting a while, I told him I was getting my own place if he didn’t step it up. He took that to heart and proposed the day before we re-signed our lease. 😉

Post # 11
Member
5784 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

We lived together for 2 yrs before getting engaged. I don’t really think it held up the proposal.

Post # 12
Member
1833 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

In my personal experience, I think living with my bf is the best thing I could have done. Yes, I am still waiting. No, it does not have anything to do with him being too comfortable.

But to be honest, we struggled when moving in together. We are 2 different people, have different ideas of “clean”, different habits and different sleep schedules. I would not want to struggle with that as a newlywed.  I think you learn a lot about each other when you move in together, and learn how to deal with things as a couple instead of individuals. I would never get married without having lived with my SO first.

For reference, we moved in together just shy of the 1 year mark, and have been together for 4 1/2 years. We’ve lived in 3 different apartments together and 2 different cities. I would however, never buy property before we are engaged. So if you are talking about owning a home together, my answer is totally different.

Post # 13
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2010

We lived together for a year and a half before getting married. I don’t think it affected our engagement timeline at all, as he was just waiting for us to get used to real life and to wrap his mind around the idea of forever. Like a PP said, we practically lived together for at least 6 months before we moved into our very own apartment, so it just made sense for us.

Post # 14
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We lived together for a little over a year before we got engaged. But Fiance always had very specific stipulations regarding his future wife:

Had to be dating at least 2 years before living together

Have to be living together at least 1 year before proposing.

We got engaged right after we had been together for 3 years and had followed those “stipulations”. Not very spontaneous/romantic but it worked fine for us.

Post # 15
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We moved in together 2.5 years into our relationship and got engaged after 2.5 years of cohabitating.  I agree with what panterapeach said – if I could do it over again I wouldn’t have moved in with him until after we were engaged.  He became way too comfortable and lazy.

Post # 16
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We also lived together for 2 years and bought a house before getting engaged.  It make sense economically, since it was way more expensive to live separately, and I’m really happy we did live together.

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