(Closed) Cohabitating Before Engagement

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 106
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

My husband and I dated for about 6 months and he started spending a LOT of time at my apartment. He was spending the night 6 times a week and all his stuff was everywhere, but he’d never officially moved in. I sort of had to have the “I’m not comfortable living with someone I’m not engaged to” talk with him. We eventually got engaged and I felt more at ease with the situation because I knew we were moving towards building a life together and making a home together. I’d NEVER buy a home with someone I wasn’t married to. That’s such a huge commitment I would be too nervous to take that step with someone and potentially have no legal rights to a home I built with them.


Post # 107
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I refuse to live together before marriage!

I know that I’m in the minority here. I’m also in the minority with my friends – well, that’s an understatement, actually, as I’m the only one who is waiting for marriage to cohabitate. What’s sad is that people look at my choice and see it as a judgement of their choice, which gets really old really fast for me. I’m so tired of having to always say, “No, we don’t live together, but that doesn’t mean I think it’s wrong! I support your decision…” It’s emotionally draining to give my song and dance every time. Why can’t people respect both options?

I also get really defensive when people who live together tell me that I can’t possibly know my fiance. They always say it with this little wiser-than-thou curly smile that makes me want to pull my hair out. What gives them the right to make that judgement about others? Maybe they are the kind of person who needs to live with someone before making a marriage decision. Rock on, I say. But why question the validity of my ability to make that decision, my love, my engagement, my marriage? I get so frustrated. 

Post # 108
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am about to move in with my SO and I am hoping to have the same siyuation as those bees that lived with their SO for  1 month – 3 months and he proposed. He knows my timeline and I hope he sticks to it. He is not one to drag his feet.

Post # 109
38 posts

We are buying a house together this spring! He’s also told me we’ll be engaged sometime before the end of the year… so I guess we’ll be living together for a few months first.

The topic ‘Cohabitating Before Engagement’ is closed to new replies.

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