Post # 1
Incognito Bee, and I’m just a stupid mess. I know it’s just cold feet, it’s nothing I would act upon, but my wedding is coming up soon and I’m starting to panic. It keep thinking of the guys I know (or have known) and thinking that I’ll never have a chance with them now. To be clear, I likely didn’t have a chance with them ANYWAY, as the few people I’ve been thinking of are people I’ve known for years and years and nothing has been said or done on either side and in truth I barely thought of them romantically when I was single other than ‘He’s cute’ or something. It’s so ridiculous, and I am well aware that it’s just wedding stress. Every time I see one of them post something on FB or I see them out with friends I think to myself ‘Well, I never know what it’s like to date him’ and it’s driving me a little nuts. I don’t actually want to date any of them, and yet I am all too aware now that it will never happen. I will say that my FI is a wonderful person, and we truly enjoy each others company. Does he get on my nerves? Absolutely, but everyone does from time to time, that’s just life. I would never EVER act on these feelings, because I know they’ll be gone after we’re married but tonight I just needed to type it all out and admit it, even secretly, so that I can say ‘stop being an idiot’ to myself and move on haha.
Did anyone else panic slightly at the thought of ‘forever’ before their wedding??
Post # 3
You did not say how long you have been dating your FI or how old you are. You have some time to process all of this before your wedding which is a good thing. It could be just cold feet it could be doubts that your FI is who you want forever with…time will tell.
I don’t have those feelings about getting married. I am 100% ready to date only my FI for the rest of my life and other men pale in comparison.
Post # 4
Cold feet. I would say read a relationship book. I’m reading 5 Love Languages right now and its making me appreciate what i have alot more then i used to.
Post # 5
That’s tough. I’m slightly confused though, since you say your wedding is soon but your date says June 2013? Or is that part of the incognito?
For myself, I’m 34 now and I could NEVER have married in my 20’s. I didn’t want to settle down. I had lots of lovers in long term relationships ( and some short term too, Lol!)
But now, I am completely ready to be with one person and I have found my perfect match. So I don’t have any doubts or fears. I have never been happily monogamous before, so it’s a big deal for me.
I can sense that you want to feel the same inner peace, and you recognize your thoughts are irrational. Make sure you are sure about this guy. Maybe you DO need to live, play and explore more, i don’t know. Cold feet is sometimes just stage fright. But if you are going into this thinking, well we’ll see how it works out- I can ask for a divorce if I’m unhappy in a few years, then you need to do some serious soul searching.
Relationship ambivalence is hard. I’ve been there myself many times. Wishing you the best.