(Closed) Cold feet/any doubts?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Did you have cold feet before the wedding?
    Yes, but now I'm happy! : (13 votes)
    11 %
    Yes, and now I am unhappy/got divorced. : (5 votes)
    4 %
    No, and now I'm happy! : (31 votes)
    26 %
    No, but now I am unhappy/got divorced. : (2 votes)
    2 %
    Yes, and I cancelled the wedding. : (2 votes)
    2 %
    I am not married yet, but I sometimes have doubts. : (24 votes)
    20 %
    I am not married yet, and I have no doubts. : (39 votes)
    33 %
    I am not married yet, and I have cold feet. : (4 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    167 posts
    Blushing bee

    I am interestedin the results of the poll! 


    I think it is natural to have fear, anxiety, and even doubt our decisions occasionally.  But, I’ve always felt that true “cold feet” is a reason to walk away because something just isn’t enough.  


    I can’t wait to see other bee’s experiences.

    Post # 5
    1234 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’m not married yet, so we shall see.  Just wanted to say that I don’t think unhappy/divorced should be synonymous.


    Post # 8
    1234 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    You’re right, I think the wording is fine for this poll ๐Ÿ™‚

    And I voted for ‘I am not married yet, but I sometimes have doubts.”  But that’s a whole other story ๐Ÿ˜‰


    Post # 9
    72 posts
    Worker bee

    Yes, my doubts and anxiety were so overwhelming that I “postponed” the wedding, which eventually led to our breaking up. I tend to be an anxious person and compiled with that, he had a couple of big problems which I could not deal with. I still doubt whether I made the right decision, though because I know we would have been really happy together. I just couldn’t go ahead. Life seems pretty insane sometimes.

    Post # 10
    329 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I did for about a 2 weeks before the wedding. Just weird feelings such as, “MY life is over, it will never be the same, I am losing all of my independence.” Well, about 4ish days before the wedding, it was all good. The feelings went away and I snapped out of it. It was never so severe that I would have even thought about cancelling the wedding. The issues I was having were mainly about me feeling like I wouldn’t be able to be my own person anymore. I never had doubts about if I could be faithful, if he could, etc. Just normal cold feet.

    Post # 11
    576 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @asphodel:  Got engaged in Sept 2011, getting married 9/1/12 (38 days!).  And yes, within the first couple months of being engaged I got scared.  I convinced myself there were a bunch of problems in our relationship that needed fixing.  It was just my own neurosis.  I got myself all worked up.  After a few weeks (involving a lot of wine and a extensive chats with my awesome big sister) I calmed the hell down.  Now I am so happy, and really looking forward to making this commitment.

    Post # 14
    334 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    My first marriage no doubts and we got divorced after 13 years.

    This time (I have 9 days to go and don’t think this will change) but I have had hardly any doubts since our divorces were finalized.

    The doubts I had before were because his last marriage was so drama filled that I was concerned that he may create drama because that’s what he was used to I guess? But he put the fears aside that he does indeed like the drama free life we live.

    Post # 15
    409 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    No actually. Kinda strange since I fret about everything – but I have never been so sure about something in my life. I was incredibly calm beforehand (my bridesmaids/parents/grandparents all commented). I was very sure and very ready. And so far so good ๐Ÿ™‚

    *I should add, we have been together for 7 years. Was there ever doubts about our relationship – of course – but we’ve worked through them together and as we neared marriage (I would say within the year of planning) I felt very sure.


    Post # 16
    80 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    doubts? yes. Cold feet? not so much.

    My DH is my best friend. Has been for 6 years. I think the doubts were more of a “am I REALLY ready to commit myself for forever with this man” “will I miss out on something greater” “could there even be anything greater” ….. needless to say, there could not be anything greater at this time.

    Questioning it is normal. Even more so when you have been so independant for so long.

    The topic ‘Cold feet/any doubts?’ is closed to new replies.

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