- 3 years ago
Now, I know cold feet is normal. Especially a few day before the wedding, but I am now really second guessing myself. Just a few days ago it really hit me that I am going to be spending the rest of my life with one person. It scared me so much I actually bolted out the door at 2am. I didn’t have anywhere to go, so I was back home around 4:30am, but it definitely caused a trench. The first thing he did was accuse me of cheating. Which I found very hurtful. Ive been solely dedicated to him for well over two years. We had a very long talk afterwards where we just let it all out. He talked about quitting his job and looking for a different one and I told him about how he disrespects me in front of people and how i am unnatracted to him because of it. He said I was being suspicious, which makes me wonder about his trust in me even more.The morning after he showered me with apologies, flowers, and gifts. I think “okay, maybe I am just a b*tch.”
He talked about how I dont let him know when certain people are coming over (I have a child from a previous relationship and the father sometimes comes and checks up). He said I should let him know these things. If he truly trust me, why do I have to let him know exactly whats going on all time? What’s the point, he’s at work most of the time and he cant have his phone on him. He also asks someone else be there because he doesnt trust the other guy around me. Shouldn’t he trust my better judgement?
Another thing I have a problem with is that he always puts me down or disrespects me in front of other people. When its just us, he always puts me up, motivating me to follow my dreams, and complimenting me. Yet, when we go into social situations, everything seems to be my fault. Like, we were dancing earlier and we were having trouble going in sync with the music. Besides the fact he doesn’t like to dance, he had to consistently point out how I don’t do good a following, which I admitted, but does he still have to bring it up in front of everyone? He says he doesnt want me to get a big head, but that’s not an excuse to put your soon to be wife down all the time. he’s apologized for this multiple times all throughout our relationship but it still doesnt stop.
My last complaint is the sex. Maybe Im just being too needy here, but someone please tell me it gets better. Im only the second woman hes been with, which is understandable, but I have flat out told him what I like and I haven’t climaxed in months. An issue in this maybe because I have become unattracted to him from all the other issues.
Really, He truly does love me, but I feel empty saying it back. He cares for the kids and is a true father figure, he does the dishes, and he tries to give me a massage when I come home from a stressful day at work. Am I being unreasonable or should this be of concern? I mean I am going to be living with him for the rest of my life.
TIA sorry for the long post.