(Closed) Cold Feet?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2036 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

You have to believe your partner when he says that you’re his priority. Why should his friendship impact your relationship? He says he’s visiting friend and you say “ok cool, have a blast!” You don’t need to visit the friend, it’ll be good for your partner to be with his friend without his wife there! I could see why you’d be worried if every arguement you have, you think your partner will bad-mouth you and the friend is going to tell your partner to get a divorce. However, I think that can be addressed with a general ‘don’t talk crap about your spouse’ clause for both of you to follow. Keep the arguments within your own relationship.

Your partners friend doesn’t need to like any posts on social media, our best man certainly doesn’t like any of our pictures together. However, having an argument and flouncing off social media is a little childish in my opinion but certainly nothing to lose sleep over. The friend has already offered to be civil to you for his friend, accept that and do the same to him. 

If you’re having doubts/cold feet it has to do with something other than the friend. There’s no point projecting your feelings on to the friend because you’ll not work through any doubts and not be able to determine whether it is real doubts or just general anxiety.

Post # 3
Member
659 posts
Busy bee

I think it depends on why you and the friend are arguing. It’s sad to say, but also good in this case, that sometimes when you get married, you see less of your friends and more of your spouse. That may be helpful for you here.

Post # 5
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I agree with PPs. The most important thing is that your fiancee is on your side. There was some tension in some of the relationships in my life during the engagement, but it all went away after we were married. You are about to be his wife, and that is something to be respected.

ETA – I totally get the whole “Can I deal with this for the rest of my life?” cold feet thinking. I totally had that. That’s another magical thing I found about marriage! Once we were married, it turned into “Ok, here’s an issue. We have to work through this.”

Post # 6
Member
9718 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

If the friendship hasn’t really impacted your relationship in the past, I’m not sure why you are doubting your future with your Fiance. It sounds like he stands by you and puts you above his friend. It doesn’t seem like something worth worrying about to me.

Post # 7
Member
659 posts
Busy bee

MrsDerushie16:  Oh I understand. That doesn’t seem like a complete dealbreaker to me. I would just forgive him (even if he never apologizes; hint: he won’t apologize) and move on. If he is deleting you off social media because of that, he doesn’t sound very mature anyway. Just try to be cordial and hang in there! Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
4252 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

You were ok with him deleting you off of social media because he didn’t like any of the pictures of you and your fiance??????  Am I reading that right???

I will say too though you don’t need to be BFF’s with his friends, being friendly with them and having the ability to hold a conversation is important.  Have you talked to your fiance about this?

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