Post # 1
Member
3004 posts
Sugar bee
My Fiance have been engaged since St Patties day. We have almost been together for two full years and even though we have been through a lot with my family being crazy I love him so much and am so excited to be his bride.
However, I get these feelings every once in a while and I dont’ know where they are coming from. Right after we got engaged I felt as though maybe it wasn’t right (I was so surprised by his proposal but totally excited and thrilled). At the time we were getting engaged we had been going through some stuff off and on where I had thought about being with other guys. I don’t know why but it felt like the harder I tried to do right the worse it got. I almost went to counceling for it but somehow it seemed to get better and now me and him are super happy and it’s all good.
But every once in a while I get this feeling…that maybe there is some guy out there that is meant for me. And maybe it’s because I’m young (21) and he’s only my second boyfriend. I bottled these feelings up for a long time and then I told my good friend and felt so much better I didn’t even feel like I needed to talk to him or feel that way much anymore.
So, cold feet?! I feel as though he really really is THE ONE. People have told me he is. Someone has told me he might not be. We’ve had our fights but it’s really nothing. Someone tell me, am I being crazy? This feels so right, but sometimes I get those nagging thoughts..
Post # 3
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
Only you know what’s right for you. Just a couple things I want to offer up: this whole concept of The One is not necessarily true. There isn’t only one person in the whole world that you can be happy with!
Also, don’t settle! This is something my mom told me over and over again and she was so right. If you don’t feel like your Fiance is the right guy, don’t marry him! You’re young and you have plenty of time.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Being engaged is an emotional time! Try to take a step back and listen to your heart. Good luck.
Post # 4
Member
3004 posts
Sugar bee
Well I was raised with the concept that God has “designed” and “Set aside” one person specifically for you. I feel strongly that that person was meant to be with you forever, even in eternity. I keep thinking about the whole settling thing and I just don’t know quite what that means. He is so so very good to me. Everything I wanted when I was younger in fact. So how could I possibly be settling?
Post # 5
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
This is a tricky thing…
If I were in your position, I might take some more time to be simply “dating”. Take the pressure of, so to speak. This might be tough, but it could also give you a lot of clarity on the situation.
I’d also consult a trusted, wise person much older than you on this. They might be able to sympathize or give advice.
Best of luck!
Post # 6
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
This is totally normal. Every girl goes through it! I think you need to determine if there are actually problems with your Fiance or if you are just freaking out over the forever part. If its the later, that is totally normal. If you are concerned because he has a terrible temper, calls you names, or something specific, then it might be time to re-evaluate.
Post # 7
Member
3004 posts
Sugar bee
I think I’m more concerned with the whole forever part of it all. Everything else I’m sure we can work through.
Post # 8
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee
If it’s just normal jitters, then that’s normal. If you really are worried about him not being “the one” or that something may be wrong, then just have a long engagement. You’re only 21. The institution of marriage isn’t going anywhere, and there is nothing wrong with taking more time until you are 100% sure. You just have to do some soul searching to figure out what you really are feeling.
Post # 9
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
It sounds like you need to figure out if you’re ready for marriage and if he’s the one. You say you feel like he’s the one but the forever part is the part that worries you. I’d suggest a long engagement at the least, as well as looking deeply and honestly at your feelings. You are young and this doesn’t mean you’re not ready to get married but you may need more time before you feel ready to make a committment. Only you know what is right for you, so spend some time thinking about it and keep talking about it until you’re sure.
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