Post # 1
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
Hello Hive,
Well we are 3 months into our engagement, and up and until this week everything has been going great. Plans are coming along nicely, my maids (who don’t know they are my maids yet 🙂 ) are being fantastic, supportive and wonderful. My Fiance however has done a complete 180. Allow me to fill you in a wee bit.
Earlier this week, my Mom found a girl online selling her china. It just so happened to be the identical pattern that my Mom has and my Grandma had. The lady was selling a 6 piece – 10 setting set for…..get this…… $25.00, yes, $25.00. It’s worth over $2000.00 so of course my mom picked it up for us, knowing she’ll be adding to it over the years. My Fiance took one look and said he hates it. I told him the history of the pattern, but had no luck. I asked if he really cared about the pattern so much that he’ll be willing to research one he likes and then purchase it, as I’m sure you can imagine, he’s not.
And that was just the begining. I ‘ll spare you all the remaining details of crazy week, but I must ask, has anyone else had a partner get cold feet while the wedding is still so far away??
Thanks all. 🙂 Happy Planning!
Post # 3
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
It doesn’t seem like disliking a china pattern is really the same as having cold feet. My mom has some china that she loves that I dislike, so I understand just having strong taste. Do you have any other reasons to think he has cold feet?
Post # 4
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
What Miss BBQ said. Do you have reason to think this is a symptom of something else? I am really having trouble drawing a line between “my fiance doesn’t like my mom’s china pattern” and “my fiance has done a complete 180.”
Post # 5
Member
28 posts
Newbee
I don’t understand how not liking a china pattern = cold feet.
Maybe I’m missing something.
I think you’re just overthinking his honest opinion.
Post # 6
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
My FH gets irritated when I go on, and on, and on, and on, and on about wedding planning. I know he doesn’t have cold feet. He doesn’t want to hear about the planning all the time. So, try not talking about the wedding for a while and see if that makes a difference 🙂
Post # 7
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
Hmm… is this a “straw the broke the camel’s back” situation?
Not liking a China pattern = normal person with opinions
Not being willing to research and choose an alternative = normal guy not caring about China that much.
My husband doesn’t like “pattern”. That’s right… he only likes solid coloured things with no texture. Don’t sweat it, I’m sure this is in no way an illustration of him not wanting to marry you.
Post # 8
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee
Oddly enough I “compromised” on the pattern we chose. I dont hate it, but it was not my 1st , 2ns or 3rd choice, but he liked it so much I went with it. Backwards? maybe. But it worked for us. It doesnt mean I have cold feet. You may be missing details so let us know the rest of the story please.
Post # 9
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
@SapphireSun: mine too! What the heck boys…
Post # 10
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
I’m sure that he’s been getting a lot of crap from his super macho friends about having a ball and chain. I’m sure he’s feeling conflicted. Just give it time, I remember this allllll too well! 🙂
Post # 11
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
Yes, this was sort of the final straw situation. There has been many situations over the past few weeks, he’s stopped calling when he normally does, has been going out drinking with his guys after he claims that he’s too tired to do anything with me, he stopped responding to e-mails etc etc.
I had asked him early on if he wanted any part of the wedding planning and he was all for it, super excited, lots of imput, ideas, opinions, you name it, until a few weeks ago and now it seems that he doesn’t want anything to do with the planning at all, I keep asking if he’s sure he still wants to be a part of the planning, and he just changes the subject or gets annoyed. But if I go ahead with anything (ie. china pattern selection) he gets insulted or angry.
We don’t talk about wedding stuff too much, I’m activly trying to make sure that we still do other things Not Wedding Related.
Am I just being overly sensitive?? Thanks all 🙂
Post # 12
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee
Maybe, maybe not. I know, that is not an answer. I think you need to have a “normal” night without wedding talk (or two) and then ask him what you asked us. Essentially, does he want to be married to you without the wedding details or is the being married piece stress him out. Only he can answer that.
It sounds like you are making an effortto make it all work, but sometimes we forget how much we are focusing on the details that others dont care about. I wish you the best of luck.
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