(Closed) Cold Feet Before an Engagement With Long-Term Boyfriend – Is This Normal?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
646 posts
Busy bee

Havent been in this situation, but i would think its pretty normal. Getting engaged is a HUGE life changer!!! I think it would be odd NOT to question it to make sure that this is exactly what you want. I suspect you are afraid of the change (ie, losing your independance as you put it) than the actual commitment. Im sure that when the time comes, you will know in your gut what the right path is. Best of luck!

Post # 4
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I experienced a fleeting moment of it twice – once after we first went and looked at rings and once in the days after he proposed.

When I experienced the moment of panic, I asked myself “is there ANYthing about him that you would change?” My answer was an absolute “no. I would change NOTHING.” And that calmed me down.


I freaked a bit after the proposal simply because of the situation. Fiance proposed at the beach and then had to go home the next day, leaving me alone with my extended family all week. I felt very lonely and very disjointed being out of my routine… so I started worrying that I would fail at marriage — not him, but me.

I talked with my mom about my fears and then just decided I’d not worry about my emotions unless they continued AFTER I got home back to Fiance. The emotions did not continue once I got home; I was INSTANTLY relieved the moment I left the beach to head home lol. I was just all mixed up because I’d been thrown out of my routine and was away from him for the first time in 3 months.

Post # 5
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I went thru the same thing. We went looked at rings, and I freaked, what was I doing?! Am I sure I was ready for this?! I never thought this would happen… really, me married!? But I stopped took a step back and thought long and hard. Should I tell him I wanted to wait, or should I let him go because maybe he wasn’t what I wanted?

Then it hit me, I was scared of the unknown, of having such huge changes, or maybe losing myself, but I remembered he brings out the best in me, I’m more myself with him then I am with anyone else. What I was most afraid of was the show we would have to put on a.k.a. the wedding lol.

Would you want to spend forever with him, with or without the legal documents?! Because if the answer is yes, then I think it’s just cold feet. 🙂

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