Post # 1
So here I am, 8 days out from this wedding that I have been planning since March 10 of 2012, and I’m freaking out, to put it nicely.
I’ve had a really bad week and I’m probably just tired and stressed, but how do I know?
Fiance chose this week to quit his nasty disgusting dipping habit. If you’ve ever been around a person attempting to quit nicotine, you’ll know why this is an additional stress that I do not need. I’ve told him that I am very happy and thankful he’s quitting as it is truly a disgusting habit, but the process is really difficult. He’s having mood swings and snapping at me for things that don’t even make sense and it makes me upset and question this whole thing. I know this is just a temporary thing; it takes about a week to get out of his system, but I really don’t think he could have picked a worse week to quit! Other than next week, of course. So this week we’ve split our time between arguing and not speaking to each other, and now I’m wondering what in the hell I am doing marrying him next week.
Under normal circumstances, we really don’t argue all that much. There are times that we fight that we REALLY FIGHT (I don’t mean physically; I just mean things can get very heated), but they never last more than 30 minutes or so. We are writing our own vows and I’m having a hard time doing that because I feel like all the mushy stuff we’ll be saying and the way we will be acting will be just a show. That the arguing and fighting is who we really are. I feel like this wedding is just one big fakeout that we are putting on for our families and that we will be lying to every one of them all day long. I don’t know if this makes much sense. It just doesn’t feel REAL.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about “the bad stuff” this week and if this marriage is really what I want. I’ve thought about our differences and our various arguments and I can’t help but to make myself panic.
Is this normal? Am I the only one that does this or does a fast approaching wedding date make anyone else think back over the bad things about your Fiance or the relationship? I know every relationship is going to have its ups and downs but I can’t seem to focus on the ups at the moment.
I should note that when we are not fighting and things are peaceful between us, I don’t feel this way or think about the negatives. That’s why I think I’m having cold feet, but I’m not really sure how to tell.
Any tips, married bees?
Post # 3
I don’t think it is cold feet. I think you are just overloaded with stress. My dad quit dipping, and it lasted all of two weeks because my mom couldn’t take it anymore. He and my mom, who never fight, went at it like crazy. My dad was really difficult to be around when he quit.
It is a very, very hard habit to break, and although I give props to your Fiance for quitting (because it is so disgusting imo), he really did pick a bad time, especially quitting cold turkey. I think with him being moody, it is really adding stress onto you because you both are saying hurtful things you probably don’t mean. You’re saying them our of stress and frusteration.
Only for 5 minutes the night before my wedding did I have a mini-moment of panic that I was spending the rest of my life with someone. It left as fast as it came. That was a case of cold feet.
Unless you’re FOR SURE that there aren’t any other problems in the relationship other than your FI’s new moodiness due to quitting dipping, then I think your relationship is fine, and you’re just stressed. You will be happy once things get easier for him.
Post # 4
I just wonder what was going through his head when he decided to quit THIS WEEK. He said he wasn’t ready to quit until now and when he was finally ready, he just stopped buying it.
Your reply made me feel better, so thank you. We are normally happy except for our occasional arguments, but this whole week has really messed with my emotions.
Post # 5
Keep your chin up girl! This is just an overload of stress talking. The timing sucks for his quitting dipping, but I hope he sticks with it. Try to take some extra time for yourself in these next 8 days — things will get better.
Post # 6
@Madi.So.Excited: Hi Date twin! I can’t answer your question if it’s normal or not (what is normal anyways?!) but I will say you are not alone! 🙂 It’s a huge event and normal to question things. As long as you know deep down you do truly love him and want to make it through the bad times, then I think you’ll be okay and just having a little case of cold feet (of course the fighting does not help whatsoever).
I don’t really have any good advice, but hopefully you’re reassured to hear you aren’t alone! Trust that the decision you made when he proposed was the right one (even if it doesn’t always feel like it!)
Post # 7
Definitely think this is just stress!! He could have picked a better time for this, absolutely, but I’m sure things are going to be alright. Try to remove yourself from everything for a bit, relax, grab a coffee, get a pedicure. Maybe giving yourself just an hour of “you” time will help clear up your head and make things a little easier for you 🙂
Post # 8
Date twin! I’m stressed too…and Fiance and I get along delightfully….except for the last few weeks. Money and family and wedding stuff constantly, it definitely has taken its toll. Our house is cluttered, we have no groceries, I’m worried about silly stuff like candles and trail mix for the Out of Town bags. I dont’ feel like myself to be honest. UGH!
Hang in there…I suspect 3/24 you’ll feel like a whole new woman!
Post # 9
I hope so guys. This is why I love the Bee! A few hours have passed since I typed my post and I already feel better about things. Today hasn’t been THAT bad as far as his attitude so maybe it is starting to get out of his system.
And my date twins on here – we’re almost there so just breeeeeathe!! (I need to heed my own advice, right?! ha!)