I have. You may be scared of my story, though.
It was a few years ago. My then-boyfriend and I had been together for years, and things were great. Then, we started to become very busy with school and careers, and stopped communicating to one another, mostly because we were hardly home at the same time. Nitpick nitpick and nitpick on both ends! We didn’t make time to talk, so we began to basically live two separate lives under one roof. We didn’t express the little concerns, things that bothered us, etc. and the tiniest things would lead me to be so frustrated and outraged and angry (him too) such as – leaving a sock beside the laundry basket instead of inside it, pushing the mustard to the back of the fridge, coming home 5 minutes late, etc. We broke up for months. When we got back together, things were better, and we were able to communicate again, but we went through hell and back to get there because we kept pushing it aside so far, the little issues were lying in the heart of the giant aftermath, and we forgot what we were even fighting about. We got engaged, and married… but the side effects of the breakup have stayed with me. Being apart from him was absolute hell, likely because our breakup was filled with so much confusion and regret and guilt. To this day, I will break down when I think about it. I have actually been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.
I know my example is an extreme, and most people are not as hyper emotional as I am, however my point is – do not regret later what you can sort out now. I believe that sometimes, separation can be for the best, but sometimes it can backfire. I do believe that our breakup is what allowed us to eventually be the best versions of ourselves, however I also believe, we could have talked it through, and it wouldn’t have led to such extreme side effects (at least on my end)
As hard as it is, the best thing to do is step back from the situation you are nitpicking and ask yourself: is this truly a big deal? How would I feel if I were doing this, and he nitpicked me? This may help you be more objective regarding the things you become upset about. If it is certain habits that is driving you crazy, discuss them with him, don’t yell at him – discuss. If something really bothers you, you shouldn’t have to tiptoe around it and keep it inside – you should be able to talk about it, but don’t be ANGRY about it – this just causes him to be defensive, and nothing will get solved. Take a personal escape to calm your feelings down (like a long drive or a walk or an uninterrupted bath) It sounds like you are acknowledging that you are being “irrational” (over analyzing, etc) Counselling will likely be more helpful to you, because your counselor will come to know you one on one, and offer more personalized suggestions.
Just know that it’s normal, it’s solve-able, and don’t ever compare yourself to your friends or peers – they have probably gone through it too, and just don’t admit it.