(Closed) Cold Financial Feet

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 3
1129 posts
Bumble bee

The only advice I can give is to talk to her before you sign that contract.  You both need to be on the same page.

Post # 4
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I know it hards but I think you should be very honest with you Fiance. Things are tough right now and it’s imporatant that she knows how you feel about the money not rolling in. If you can afford it right now, hold off until you feel more comfortable with your financial situation.

Do you really want to start this marriage with a difficult financial stress. It’s imperative that you emphasize to her how all this makes you feel. it’s not about having cold feet. its about doing the logical and beneficial thing so you both dont suffer financial stress.

Post # 5
3977 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Weddings can be a tough topic with women who have dreamed of them all their lives. Having a straightforward talk, starting with how much you love her, how much you want to marry her, and how much you want to have a beautiful wedding is a good start.

I don’t think you have to postpone if your fiance is willing to have a really strict budget. Maybe lay out some options. $3000 budget and get married now. $6000 budget and get married in a year or two. (Whatever the #’s are based on your situation.)

I hope you can help her understand that the end result is more important to you than the exact date and how fancy it is. That being married and being financially responsible rather than going in to debt is the key. And that her having a job would be a huge relief of stress for you (and for both of you).

Is there any option of outside assistance? Family? Any connections that can help get you deals (someone with a gorgeous house with a huge backyard, a friend who’s a photographer, someone who always makes amazing cakes) There are so many options for budget brides but you have to go in with a willingness to not absorb the wedding culture.

Post # 7
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@rockybalboa: This is one of those situations where you should tread lightly. If you say the wrong thing she might think that it’s her you have the problem with. I would write down the financial plan and how much it’s going to cost. How much money you are bringing in and what it will take to save that money at the current pace. It may be time for a reality check, but I would put it on paper and not just discuss it as it could backfire. Does that make sense?

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