(Closed) Colleague giving “advice” on happiness… Not her place?!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2542 posts
Sugar bee

That’s very, very strange. Even if it came from a friend I would think it was weird, and you say it’s from a co-worker. It doesn’t come accross as a concerned individual, but more like someone lecturing you about being moody. 

I wouldn’t even email this person back if I were you. Bizarre…

Post # 4
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I would reply and I don’t think you are overreacting.

Dear, Co-worker

 

Thank you for your interest in my life. However, the many decisions of my life are primarily based on my friends and family. I am greatful for them every day but there are times when I am stressed out due to some aspects of life. That being said I would remind you to keep your and my relationship where it belongs, in the work place. I do not appreciate your email as it was partonizing and rude. I also do not like to be office fodder for any psuedopsychiatrist who feels the need to take a look at my life and try to figure out what is wrong.

Signed,

None of your business

PS (only a joke postscript here) Since we are so close that you feel you can comment on some things, please take some advice…put down the doughnuts. (Then talk about the high numbers of obesity in America)

Post # 4
Member
2542 posts
Sugar bee

Double post, sorry!

Post # 5
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

WHOA. Not their/her place at all to send you such an email. Perhaps she is just being “motherly” or thinking she is helping but yes I agree she overstepped. I think she must be bored to dip into telling you such things. 😉

What to do? I would ignore it or simply write: “Wow, thanks for taking the time to write all of that. I appreciate your concern and will take your words into consideration. I think I will go bake a cake for the starving children in Africa now.” Or, you could bake HER a cake that says “EFF OFF.”

Seriously, in the future be cordial while completely taking in the reigns on anything personal whatsoever with these people. They are colleagues, and for the sake of your sanity, be very very careful what you share in the workplace from now on.

Post # 7
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

i agree with you that the message is REALLY stepping over the line and into your personal buisness! i would honestly give it a couple days to kinda cool off and think.

i would personally reply with something along the lines of “thank you for your concern but there is no reason for you to worry yourself about my personal life. im quite happy with my life currently and my future with “S” is exciting and full of possibilities. im sorry if you got the wrong impression from myself or other collegues. i hope that this will not affect our work relationship – MrsP”

there at least it is still porfessional and you are reaffirming that she is your collegue and not a friend as well as bascially saying im happy leave well enough alone without being super snarky about it. but i would advise something rather cool and impersonal. remember dont write anything that you may regret and done give her anything to throw back at you and/or get you in trouble with your workplace ( i have seen it happen)

 good luck!

Post # 9
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

umm..she is definitely out of line and an idiot.  Yes, it sounds like she thinks you are ungrateful and are overlooking the good things in your life.  She obviously doesn’t understand the serious nature of depression either if she thinks one can simply change their mood. 

Honestly, I’d probably write her a letter back similar to the one another pp wrote above!

Post # 11
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Whoever wrote that email has too much time on their hands. That is very rude to assume that you are unhappy. Why didnt they talk to you and ask you how you’ve been feel. A true friend that really cares for you wouldnt do that. That is very passive aggressive. You should reply that they need to mind their business and stay out of yours.

Post # 13
Member
2547 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Whata freak.

Post # 14
Member
2429 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Sheesh…Next time this lady has a bad day, maybe you should remind her of how good she has it compared to some people.  I can’t stand it when people just don’t you vent or have a bad day. 

Post # 15
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I wouldn’t reply to her email, but simply walk up to her and say, “Thanks for your concern, I realize now that I shouldn’t be discussing my personal life with you, as you make things your business that really aren’t. Oh, and I would really appreciate if you would stop telling our coworkers my business, unless you would like me to do the same for you.”

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