Post # 1
Our Destination Wedding is at the end of the month at an all inclusive resort in Mexico. The priest has a ‘home parish’ and also performs the weddings at the resort chapel. I would guess that the fee we pay for the chapel use goes to the priest which is about $400.
I just found out that part of the standard mass for the resort weddings is a collection. I’m a little uncomfortable with the collection basket going around at the wedding. Plus, I doubt people will even have any money with them so it will just make things a bit awkward. I don’t think the Catholic weddings I’ve been to typically had collections.
So, is it appropriate for me to request no collection? If so, are we supposed to personally donate to make up for that? If so what is the appropriate amount?
Post # 3
@houstonwhodat: That sounds really odd to me. I’ve been to probably 2 dozen Catholic weddings and I don’t think I’ve ever seen them take a collection. I would request it not be done and clarify if the fee is going to the priest. If not, I’d give him a donation for $200 (which is what is donated to the priest at my home parish)
Post # 4
The first thing you have to do is to clarify what the money is for. If it is for the upkeep of the church building (a historical building) or if it goes to a local charity, it would seem to me to be somewhat churlish to refuse to have a collection. However, that said, I haven’t seen a collection at a wedding either.
Post # 5
I have never in my life seen this done at a wedding. I would request it not be done. Many guests probably won’t even bring cash to a wedding, so what’s the point?
Post # 6
Yes, collections are not typically done at weddings, Catholic or otherwise. On rare occasions I’ve heard of couples taking up a collection for a specific charity or organization (it would be announced out loud or in the program so that people knew what the donations were for), but it is definitely not standard protocol for weddings.
I second the PP who suggested that you find out what the collection goes to and then decide how to proceed.
Post # 7
Thanks for your help! The collection goes to the preist’s home parish, which being in Cancun I would assume is very poor. I’m sure his parish is largely supported by the weddings he performs at the resort. We have asked to give a donation instead and I think we will be giving 150-200, since we already are paying for his services for the ceremony.