(Closed) HELP!College Depression Affecting Relationship! PLEASE READ!!

posted 6 years ago in College
Post # 3
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

It does sound like depression. I would make an appointment with your dr and also maybe aschool counselor (usually you can see them for free for awhile) and figure out where to go from there. Talk to your SO about it. He may not understand what you’re going through but at least he will know it’s not your relationship. 

Post # 4
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It does sound like it could be depression, and I agree with the PP. You should definitely get some help because, unfortunately, college stress will likely only increase. I’ve been there myself many times. I’m about to graduate in the fall, and the last year has been absolute madness. It definitely put a strain on our relationship as well. You should talk to your SO because there will be a lot of stressful situations as your lives together continue to progress (college, jobs, finances), and it is very important that you learn to lean on each other rather than push each other away.I know that can be the easy, safe feeling thing to do, and I’m guilty of it myself. You just need to focus on avoiding this together.

Post # 6
Member
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It does sound like it could be depression, although you need to have these feelings for a certain lenght of time before it is diagnosed as such. Take a look at all aspects of your day to day life and see if you can make any little changes to help:

1. Are you exercising regularly (several times a week)? This helps boost your endorphins and will actually make you feel better, while also making you healthier.

2. What is your normal diet like? Do you eat a lot of carbs, sugar, or fatty foods? While most people don’t realize it, these types of foods can actually trigger an emotional part of our brain that can sometimes seem like depression. Load up on fruits, veggies, healthy grains (try avoiding gluten as much as possible, stick to things like rice-based grains), and low-fat protein. Don’t eat fast food, pizza, burgers, pasta, or any junk food. Diet (and your balance of vitamins) will seriously help your body stabilize and this should have an effect on your emotional state as well.

 

I’m not trying to lecture, but I went through what sounds like the exact same thing in college and found it that it wasn’t actually depression, but rather lifestyle choices that were making my body not function correctly. I would keep your appointment with your doctor, but in the meantime, take all steps possible to make sure you are as healthy as possible!

Post # 8
Member
1564 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Definitely go see a counselor. I went through this in grad school and it is very tough. Talking to someone about that doesn’t know you can really help as they don’t judge. Also, seeing a counselor at the school that you go to will be free and confidential so you won’t have to worry about high bills or anyone finding out that you are going to see someone. 

I really recommend being proactive and taking action in trying to help yourself! It is what worked for me!

Post # 10
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Good luck! I went through this senior year of college and again in law school. Better to take care of it now, like it seems you are, than to let it go. The more episodes you have, the worse they can be. It never hurts to talk to a counselor, even if it’s not depression. I will be praying for you! Also, feel free to PM me if yOu need to talk before Monday. 

Post # 11
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

THe ladies have some good advice.  Counsellor and a doctor if they suggest that.  Avoid meds if you can talk it out!

Post # 13
Member
1544 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Maybe going away to school is whats causing you to be depressed. I was depressed too during college. I tried so hard to make going away to school fit me because so many people loved it. But I couldn’t – so after my first year i transfered to a school closer to home. College life just wasn’t for me. How far away from home is your school- have you thought about switching schools or commuting?

I wouldn’t go straight to pills- it seems to me like you just aren’t happy with your life. Do what you need to do for you. Make yourself the priority – I promise your relationship naturally improve.

Post # 14
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@KaylieJordan14:  It definitely CAN affect your relatioship.  It used to drive Darling Husband nuts that he couldn’t help me “feel happy”. 

Also, a symptom of depression is being not as interested in the things that usually make you happy.

Did you get in to the dr on Monday?

Post # 15
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@KaylieJordan14:  I’m going through something VERY similar. I moved to a new town where my boyfriend worked and this is my first semester back to college, and BOY AM I STRESSED! I know that it affects my relationship every now and then, my huney will mention that I always seem stressed and upset and I notice that I like to sleep a LOT more often then I normally did.. I even get upset to the point of crying and just not being able to make myself do homework.

 

I think one of the biggest problems for me is how badly I just want to start my life with my boyfriend, we are holding off on a lot of things until I graduate (buying a house, getting married, etc.) and so not only do I want to start building a life for myself but I want to build a life with him. If you ever need someone to just talk to, feel free to message me. I’m in a position where I left all of my friends and family to move out to where my boyfriend lives/works, so I know how lonely it can be. One thing that helps me, is making sure I get at least one day a week (and its usually only one day) that both my boyfriend and I have off where I dont even THINK about my school. I work extra hard the day before to make sure I get everything done that needs to be done, and it has REALLY helped our relationship. Good luck with figuring out whats going on though, know that you’re not alone and everything you’re going through (the stress of school, etc) is completely normal. *hug*

Post # 16
Member
3248 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Oh, my. All the stories everyone’s contributed already, plus yours, KaylieJordan14, sound a lot like what happened to me in college also, although I was single. I think the problem you’re having could indeed be depression; I struggled with it in college (partially because I was single, but also because of many other things), and it sucked. . . not being interested in anything, eating too much/too little, being exhausted, crying all the time, even some really bad, dark thoughts about myself. I got through it thanks to the fact that I was in college in a beautiful place that offered lots of opportunity for cycling and hiking (so I got a lot of exercise), and because my best friend was in the same emotional state and we supported each other. Now, though, I really wish I’d gone to see a counselor, because I was miserable. It can be kind of scary to feel so down.

My advice is– go to a school counselor, or a private one if you’d prefer. Even a doctor or a natural health doctor/naturopath. Or a good church group or pastor, as you said! Find someone to help you– it’s way better than suffering through it! Also, reserving time just for you and your boyfriend, when you can just focus on each other, would probably help a lot. And– maybe consider taking a year off from school after this semester’s over, and working– I imagine that would help hugely for figuring out what you want to be studying. Then you might be able to save money towards your future wedding or house, too.

Now that I’m in my mid-twenties, I think I’d have been better off if I’d taken a year away from school, taken a break, and been in in the “real world” for a while, rather than suffering through feeling kind of lost, like I did. And now that I’ve been out of college and worked for a while, I know what I want to do/study and am hopefully going to grad school soon.

Best of luck to you– exercise, try to get homework done so you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend have time for each other, find a counselor/pastor/doctor to talk to, and also make sure you get out in the sun enough– sunlight is great for making happy chemicals in one’s brain! I hope you figure this out, and feel better soon!

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