- 2 weeks ago
My boyfriend (I’ll call him IR for privacy) and I have been together for almost two years. I’m going to spell out what we’ve been through to try to get opinions on our relationship’s maturity level first before I dive into the bigger Qs:
– We met the summer between my freshman and sophomore year of college while I was doing research and he was on summer break (he was going into his junior year). We’re the same age (21), I’m just a year behind.
– We met on Tinder (the true modern college experience) and were both pleasantly surprised with finding a normal person on there. We immediately connected and really hit it off, but we had conflicting schedules and I lost a family member somewhere in there, so we didn’t meet until a month later.
– We are both coming off of very bad relationships. We were both a little broken from those relationships. He had a rebound a month later, I didn’t (not my thing). Talking about these relationships in the past was therapeutic but we have both agreed that they only make the both of us upset so we have agreed to shelf that topic altogether.
– He is a jazz performance major, will graduate with his bachelor’s in December and begin his master’s right after. I’m in a five year BA/MS program, so I will not graduate with my bachelor’s and master’s until 2022 while he’s finished in late 2021.
– We lived together for a little over a month after I broke my lease to get out of a toxic living situation with roommates and it was genuinely not problematic. We rarely fought and if we did it was over trivial things like where to go for dinner. We both agreed that we are compatible living together and want to live together after this year when both of our leases are up.
– We’ve traveled together since the beginning of our relationship. We roadtripped a month in to Indianapolis, we flew to his hometown in San Diego where I met his parents four months in, and we have been to Canada, Las Vegas and France together. We both love to travel if you couldn’t tell.
Feel free to comment on what you think our relationship’s maturity level is.
Now on to the questions:
– He is a full-time musician, so he works primarily at night and on the weekends. I am in classes during the day and work part-time 20 hours a week, but not during the weekends, for a company I plan to work for after college. The company has already offered me a spot in their leadership program which is 3, six-month rotations at different locations, which means a lot of travel and commute (possibly even moving). We’re still working out the kinks in balancing all of this. Has anyone else experienced/gone through any of the above? How do you balance the musician life and your relationship?
– I’ve been thinking that I want to get engaged before I graduate, but he’ll be graduated before me. I’ve had people tell me to wait until after college and I’ve had people tell me to do it when we’re ready. I can’t see a future without him. What are your thoughts on getting engaged (not necessarily married) in college?