Post # 1
I’ve posted about this before, but my SO and I are STILL arguing about it, so I’m hoping for some insight.
Basically, I don’t want a ‘plain’ diamond ring for my engagement ring. I have nothing against white/clear diamonds, I just think I (for lack of a better way of explaining this) deserve more! I pride myself in not going with the flow, which includes my jewelry style. I wear out there jewelry on a day to day basis, and I just feel that a clear diamond would get lost, and not go with the rest of my style. I orignally said I wanted a moissy, and he flipped out, saying in his and his family eyes that would be like him giving me a fake ring. So I said I would find a diamond ring I like. I was browsing at Kay’s and I Fell IN LOVE with a Le Vian ring there. It’s a 1 Carat T.W “chocolate” diamond ring, with “vanilla” diamonds on the band. What that means is that it’s champange/brown diamonds. It’s AMAZING in person. I actually gasped when I saw it. I hate posting the Kay picture on here, because it doesn’t look anything like this, but here’s the picture. It really doesn’t do it justice.
This is the ring I want for my engagement ring. I want this ring. I showed it to my SO and he basically said that it wasn’t a traditional ring, and people would judge him if he didn’t get me a traditional diamond ring. I’ve tried to explain to him that none of my family has had diamonds (both my mom’s engagement rings were sapphire, my step mom’s was emerald, my grandma’s is a ruby and my sister has just a plain gold band). Diamonds don’t mean that much to me or my family, and it seems like a waste to me to spend money on a ring I won’t love, when I’ve picked one out I do love. It’s even cheaper then buying the exact same ring with white diamonds (That I don’t like nearly as much!) And we’re still not at the point in our lives where a lot of money can go towards a ring.
So Bees what should I do? I’m sick of trying to explain to him what I want, we’ve been ‘arguing’ about this for months now, and I know he won’t buy a ring until we’re on the same page. So do I just give in to the clear diamond ring I don’t want, and buy the one I want by myself at a later time? How can I convince him that I Do not want a clear diamond, and won’t be 100 percent happy wearing a ring like that?! Am I being ridiculous by wanting a champagne diamond?
Also post your own colored diamonds/gemstone rings, and if anyone else had trouble convincing their SO’s that that’s what they wanted!
Post # 3
I have a sapphire and it didn’t take much convincing to get my fiancee not to buy a diamond. However, my natural sapphire was not significantly less expensive than a diamond. Maybe just tell him exactly that, you wouldn’t be as happy with a traditional diamond as you would with something else. Hopefully when you find something you love he can love it too.
Post # 4
I had actually mentioned something about how I dislike white diamonds awhile before he proposed.
Apparently he remembered this… which started a long process of picking out a ring together.
He was fine with me wanting colored diamonds, but we didn’t really have the same style in what we liked other than that.
Eventually I found a ring that he really liked the style of, but had it with blue diamonds in the center bits.
Maybe if you find a similar version of this ring in white diamonds, see if he likes it, and then say ‘look, it’s the same, but aren’t these chocolate diamonds more interesting and unique?!’
Post # 5
First, I think the ring you want is absolutely gorgeous!! And it is very different!
However, because your SO feels so strongly about wanting to get you a traditional diamond, I think that you need to allow him to have some say in the choice of the ring. (For the record, I picked out my own e-ring, wedding band, and loose diamond, because my Darling Husband knows that I am picky and did not want to take on the task of trying to select something for me.) However, because your SO does have very strong feelings about this, and he is purchasing the ring for you, I think he should be comfortable with the decision.
Would you consider a ring that has a diamond center stone that has chocolate diamonds surrounding it? Or, would your SO consider buying you a beautiful blue or canary diamond so that your ring is less traditional?
Post # 6
@Katiopeia: we have seen a similar version in the clear diamonds. This is the closest one I could find, and while I Like it, I don’t LOVE it. I like it because I love the twisted shanks and the shape, which are so similar to the champagne diamonds. It’s by Zales, and I’m not sure if Zales has the ability to change the clear diamonds to champagne ones, but I’d be willing to ask. It’s almost $1000 more then the champagne one though.
@Brielle: I understand that, and I Do want to give him a say, since this ring is basically a material show of our relationship. But at the same time, I don’t want to back down and get a ring I’m not happy with, since I’m the one wearing it. I told him that if I got a plain diamond engagement ring, I’d be getting a brightly colored gemstone wedding band, and he didn’t like that either. I just feel like no matter what, I’m just going to end up “compromising” to agree with him. I also don’t want to sound like a bitch for not being happy with the ring he gives me, you know?
Post # 7
@cirk: I really like that ring. Personally I LOVE yellow diamonds. They’re so gorgeous. I was seriously considering getting one for my e-ring, but I chickened out and am now considering a normal diamond. I guess when I considered it I realized that for my engagement ring it might be my only chance to have a big round diamond lol. I know that sounds silly but I guess I am pretty traditional and figure I can get a yellow diamond sometime in the future, and I’m ok with it not being my engagement ring.
Just tell him how much you adore the ring and that it’s YOU who will be wearing it. Show him some pics of celebrity colored diamond rings to show him that it’s not that weird to have a different kind of diamond. A lot of bees on here have yellow diamond e-rings so that could help too.
Post # 8
He made me promise that I didn’t just want it because you could “get it at a candy store”. I told him it’s the stone of fidelity, it represents friendship, communication and true love. And it’s pretty. And it’s highly unlikely that anybody was tortured/murdered/enslaved to get it.
This is my simple 75pt blue topaz solitaire in sterling silver (because I’m odd and find gold feels weird) Sorry about the picture quality.
Have you taken him to see it in person or only the picture? Maybe a coloured diamond in a more traditional setting would make him feel like it looked more “engagement-ring-y”? For the record I think chocolate diamands are wicked awesome.
Post # 9
He seems to be very worried about what people think. Try to make him see how if you get that brown diamond ring YOU will be its biggest fan! If anyone says “Oh that’s an odd thing to receive”, then tell him you’ll say that you chose it and you LOOOVE it!!” No one will think poorly of it because they will see the joy on your face.
You can’t fake excitement. Tell him that if you get a clear diamond you won’t really like it as much and it will show on your face.
This will hopefully get him to open his eyes. Do NOT compromise – this is what YOU have to look at for the rest of your life! I’m still confused as to why men think they get a say in a gift for US, lol. Imagine saying to a friend “I’m buying you some chocolate for your birthday, but only this certain brand even though you don’t like it” 😀
Post # 10
@canarydiamond: I love canary diamonds as well. I have a canary diamond RHR that I got for a grad gift, and I love it. They’re so pretty. I’ve shown him some of the gemstone rings here, as well as the colored diamonds. And when he met my mom and grandma, they both happened to be wearing their e-rings, a sapphire and a ruby respectively, and he commented on it afterwards that he noticed neither of them had diamonds. So he knows my family is all for non-traditional rings!
@lionskitty: Love your topaz! I like to pretend topaz is my birthstone (i like it more then aquamarine, my real birthstone). It’s such a pretty stone! I haven’t thought of actually taking him to see the ring in person, that’s a great idea!
Post # 11
You could put it to him this way… “Why on Earth would you want to spend so much money, only for me to not like it?”
I hope you get it resolved! That ring is GORGEOUS!
Post # 12
anything goes these days, so you definately needn’t be traditional. i happen to love colored rings. i think they are great! so get it by a compromise. get him a 60″ lcd for a wedding present and you get the ring with matching earrings!
Post # 13
@JellyFeet: he really is worried what people think. It’s silly to me, but it’s just part of him. I know that if he saw my reaction every time I see that chocolate diamond ring (i may go and visit it in the jewelry store haha), he’d want that smile on my face. I’m starting to think taking him to see it might be the best idea. Try on some white diamonds, just to sooth him, and then try on that one so he can see the difference in my reactions. Because I really do love that ring. And I love your gift metaphore! I should use that on him haha.
@Sweet.Sugar.Rose: Thank you! I love it as well. I’m hoping he finally comes around.
@LiseRamosMorales: hahah I totally should! I’ll trade him a new TV for the full set! Engagement TV for him!
Post # 14
I’d say use the colored stone as sidestones, I love that look.
Post # 15
or for realz, why not do chocolate diamond mellie and a white center, would be pretty
Post # 16
@puppiekisses: I haven’t seen any with brown diamonds on the side that I like yet, but I guess that’s an option I haven’t thought about. I’d go with an all chocolate diamond band that way though!