Post # 1
I decided a while ago that I would not wear a colored gemstone as an engagement ring for fear that people would mistake it as something else (i.e. not an engagement ring).
In all honesty, when I see a colored gemstone on a woman’s left hand ring finger I do not automatically assume it is an engagement ring or wedding band like I do if the stone is clear. I only am like this because I’ve known people who wear rings on their left hand ring finger and they were not engaged/married so I feel like a colorless stone is the only way to be on the safe side when making assumptions.
The thing is, I LOVE aquamarines. And I’ve seen a few colored gemstones on here that definitely had me drooling. Yet I am very hesitant to get an aquamarine as my engagement ring (we’re upgrading my ring) because I want people to be able to look at my left hand and KNOW that I’m married, not guess.
So it had me wondering… Is this something that colored gemstone owners encounter? Or do people automatically assume that you’re engaged/married?
Post # 3
I haven’t come across that. I was raised with the idea that any ring on the left ring finger is either an engagement or wedding ring, depending on the woman’s marital status, and have never heard of anyone mistaking them for something else. Colored stones are so pretty! If you love it, that’s the only thing that matters. Let people think what they will.
Post # 4
@FutureMrsHoneybee: Very curious to know this as well! I understand your concern, though. I would only consider a diamond for an engagement ring…but…to each his/her own! 🙂
Post # 5
I ALWAYS assume if there is a ring/ rings on the L-hand ring finger that the individual is engaged/ married.
I think aquamarine is a lovely choice, if you go for a super pale aqua, it might also satisfy your desire to have a clear-ish stone.
I have multiple rings (including emerald, sapphire & moissanite) I wear in lieu of my regular diamond set. I have never encountered anyone who was confused as to my marital status 😉
Post # 6
Also, if you pair it with a wedding band, there likely won’t be any confusion. I haven’t had anyone outright ask, but with my stone being rather large, I can see where people might not automatically assume “engagement ring”. Stick with a classic engagement setting and you’ll be fine. Ditto PP about a lighter blue; if you go with an Altai or Mozambique aqua, it will be much more clear with just the hint of blue and will read like a diamond from far away/on cloudy days.
Post # 7
If I saw a ring on someones left hand then I would auto automatically assume they are engaged regardless of the colour 🙂
Post # 8
I find it a bit odd that there are people out there who cannot imagine anything other than a colourless stone as an engagement ring/wedding ring. Given that coloured stones have a long tradition of being used in engagement/wedding rings!
Even if someone does assume it is not an ering/wedding ring, does it really matter? What happens if they do? There will be people making assumptions about all sorts of things all the time, you do not need to live your own life to cater to everyone elses assumptions!
I have had a coloured stone for the last two years. I have been asked about twice if they were my wedding rings. I said yes, and in both cases they went on to compliment them for being something unique and ask questions about the stone. In many other cases I just had people share they loved sapphires/also wore or wanted a coloured stone, etc. No big deal, really. I have to switch rings now due to allergies but will miss the sapphire and talking to people about it! Though, even though I am getting a moissanite, I still expect questions and comments as I am going quite untraditional in design. Still does not matter as I will love them!
Post # 9
I agree with @inspiredcreations: about sticking to an engagement-y setting if you want your colored stone to be more recognizable as an engagement ring. In my previous engagement I had a round sapphire in a platinum setting with diamond baguette side stones, and everyone knew what it was.
Aquamarine is not a particularly hard stone, though, so you’ll have to baby it if you have it in an everyday ring, to prevent chipping/breakage as well as facet wear.
Post # 10
Absolutely not. Everyone has given me compliments when they see it. Once I was at a bridal show and handed it over to a jeweller. Another bride saw it in the jewellers hand and said to her friend – Ooooh, I really like that one! I had to sheepishly speak up and tell her that it was actually mine. 🙂
I must say that I do have a fairly traditional setting (3 stone) and I did incorporate diamonds as the side stones. Maybe that could be a nice compromise for your dilemma?
Post # 11
I rocked a pink sapphire engagement ring for awhile, and no one ever questioned whether or not it was an engagement ring. People noticed it all the time and commented on what a unique choice it was. Some people asked if it was a pink diamond, most just said “How romantic!”
The girl who works at our local post office has an aquamarine engagement ring, I secretly hope she’s working every time I go in so I can admire it.
This was my ring (I have a moissanite now)
Post # 12
I don’t have a colored gem e-ring, but I have to say before I was engaged, I used to wear rings on my left finger without even thinking of the symbolism. I was asked at least 2 or 3 times if I was engaged while wearing a silver wire wrapped ring with a bead in it, something I’m pretty sure cost my crafty friend about $2.00 to make me. That ring is about the farthest thing I could think of from an engagement ring, but I think people are pretty conditioned to think of left ring finger as engagement. While I don’t always notice people’s rings, I wouldn’t assume it wasn’t if it was a colored gem. Get what you love. I
Post # 13
To be honest, I don’t really care what other people think.
But, no one has ever assumed it was anything other then an engagement ring, especially now that it is paired with a wedding band. I also have a fairly traditional setting.
Post # 14
- Wedding: September 2012 - Mother of the Bride's residence
Nobody has ever commented on mine other than to say that it’s pretty, so if they’re wondering what it symbolizes they’re at least doing it silently. 🙂 I don’t wear much other jewelry, so I feel like it’s kind of obvious, but then again I don’t really care if people figure it out or not.
Post # 15
My engagement ring is an alexandrite and I haven’t had any issues with people not thinking it was exactly what it is…and if someone doesn’t then it honestly doesn’t matter.
My alexandrite was much more expensive than a diamond would have been…I wanted colour and that’s what I got…along with a very hard stone (anyone wondering what alexandrite is…the stone is blue/green in daylight/flourescent and turns red/purple in candlelight/incandesent and a variation in between depending on light) I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Also I always look at it like this…if Princess Di could wear a sapphire instead of a diamond than why not the rest of us?!
Here’s a pic of my ring when my FH picked it up in full daylight (looks like an aqumarine in this pic):
Post # 16
@Luayne: I have seen you show your ring a few times. I’d love to see more pictures of it from other angles! It looks gorgeous!
Also, just in case I was not clear with my own post, I wanted to second those who have said they don’t really care what others think, as I agree. I just do not see what is so horrible if someone does NOT know that a coloured stone is not an engagement wedding ring: “Oh my god Becky. Look at her ring. It is so colourful. She looks like one of those single girls”.
I love being married to my husband, but there is so much more to me than being married that I really don’t care what people who don’t know me think of my marital status one way or the other. I have plenty of friends who choose not to wear rings at all, and are definitely happily married, so perhaps my mindset is from this as well. My rings are a symbol of my commitment, but more for me than the rest of the world, if that makes sense. I want to wear something *I* enjoy rather than worry about what everyone else may think is “acceptable for a married woman”.