Post # 1
is it weird to have a combined bach party trip with another bride? my best friend and i are getting married two weeks apart and share the same maid of honor. the maid of honor suggested it would be easier for her to plan a combined event (she is working most weekends). however, we have totally different friend groups that will not be invited to each other’s wedding. initially i thought it was a good idea but now that i think about it, i would prefer to have my own day with my girlfriends plus the other bride and i have totally different ideas of what we want to do.
i am frustrated because if I am the one to say i want a separate party, our maid of honor is going to be annoyed. also, the three of us live in different parts of the country and may not be able to find another weekend in common..advice anyone? it’s stressing me out to the point where i don’t want a bach party at all. should we just hope our local friends throw us a party?
please help 🙁
Post # 3
welcome to the hive
You can want your own night. I would not want to share something like that with someone who had different tastes and friends. I would just talk to her and tell her your concerns, maybe someone else in the bridal party could take charge (no shame in asking someone else to do it). You only get to do this once and I am sure you want to make great memories with your girls.
Post # 4
If you’re going for the weekend, maybe one day can be her ‘day’ and one day can be yours. 😉 That way you both get your own day, your own fun things, but also make it easier for the Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 5
You only get to do it once. Go on your own party!! It’s completely normal to feel the way you’re feeling. Good luck.
Post # 6
With all due respect to your Maid/Matron of Honor, that’s just dumb.
I was thinking at first that you were friends with the other bride and I thought, “oh, that could be sort of fun!” But you’re not. Why would you want to be all crazy with people you don’t know? And why share the spotlight with another bride you don’t know?
Having said that, I think that if you want your bachelorette party to be the way you want it, it sounds like someone is going to have to help your Maid/Matron of Honor with the responsibility because I can’t imagine planning TWO bachelorette parties for around the same time. Is another one of your Bridesmaid or Best Man or your mom or your sister or even you available to help her out?
You can tell her, “Thank you so much for the idea, but my BM/mom/sis told me about this really cool restaurant and I kind of envisioned that it’d be just the 10 of us together. I’ll have BM/mom/sis call you with all the information…” Then have BM/mom/sis call your Maid/Matron of Honor and offer to help–but make sure that they feel her out a bit because some MOHs don’t want to feel like the rug got pulled out from under them!
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2011 - Laurel Rock Farms, PA
If your close to the other girl then sure combine them! You will still have a bride sash on, most likely if you go out to popular place on a weekend to dance or drink theres gonna be other brides anyway there.
Post # 8
Is there another Bridesmaid or Best Man who you can ask to take the reins on planning? That seems like the simplest solution to me!
Post # 9
Ok I’ve had a similar situation. The best way to handle this is to explain that you aren’t comforable sharing because you feel you would be taking away from the other bride and it would be uncomfortable for guests of yours AND hers because they don’t know eachother. Offer to help in some way, recruit someone else to help out with the Bach party, Maybe try and plan them the same weekend (yours on Friday and the others on Saturday).
Post # 10
thanx everybody all for the ideas!
to clarify: me, the other bride, and our common Maid/Matron of Honor have all been best friends since we were in elementary school. the trip would be just one night, not the whole weekend
@missmichigan – i appreciate the advice, i guess all i have to say is that i am uncomfortable – i would feel like i would be taking away from her day too. . how did it end up working in your situation?
here’s to hoping we can find another night in the same city!
Post # 11
@maywedding528: Well my situation was that my Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law wanted to combine my bridal shower with FSIL’s BABY shower! LOL. I told Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law that I wasn’t comfortable and felt I would be taking away from her day. I offered to have my family and Maid/Matron of Honor hold one bridal shower for me and invite all of their family along with mine. I even offered to change the date to the same weekend as her baby shower to accommodate the guests. It will work out! You have to let them know how you feel. And the other girls are right, you only get this once so make it the best!