(Closed) Combing shower and wedding thank you's

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you be offended if you received a thank you for both a wedding and shower gift in one card?

    Yes I would be offended if I only recived one thank you card

    No I would not be offended if I only received one thank you card

  • Post # 32
    Member
    1399 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    View original reply
    @wahine777:  I do agree.  I’m busy, you’re busy, we’re all busy.  it is insulting to the gifter to put off thank you cards due to being “busy.”

     

    Shit- I know family members that had cancer and wrote thank you cards while waiting to see the doctor or while their chemotherapy was being administered.   So really….no excuse is very good in my book.

     

    Post # 33
    Member
    7557 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    View original reply
    @skippydarling:  The op’s gift-givers have been waiting since October to have their gift acknowledged.  That’s a pretty clear signal that they are low on the list of the OP’s priorities. Combining both occasions into a single card sends the message that “I don’t mind taking short cuts when it comes to you.” 

    Probably not the combination of messages the OP wishes to send.

    Post # 34
    Member
    1399 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    View original reply
    @Horseradish:  I understand.  Since they have been waiting since October it is unacceptable.  I still maintain that it’s acceptable if a thank you is sent for both shower and wedding gift if the shower and wedding are within a few weeks of each other.

    But I guess, in this case, it does not apply since so much time has gone by since the events in the fall.

    Post # 35
    Member
    1140 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    If I can find the time to pick out a gift and a card for you on two separate occassions with a month or two between them, then you can find time to send me a thank you note for each event I had to get the gifts for. 

     

    Post # 36
    Member
    1832 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think combining the 2 thank yous into one is very poor form.

    You have a husband.  He has 2 hands.  You guys can sit together and do a set number each night and you will knock them out in no time.  It isn’t just your job to do these.  Would I be offended? No.  Would I think this was one lazy bride?  Yes.  EVERYONE is busy.  If you had time to plan a wedding you can do 5-10 thank you cards per day.

    Post # 37
    Member
    3323 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    @MarriedToMyWork:  +1

    MarriedToMyWork has hit the nail on the head.  Everyone is freaken busy.

    You have to sit at home and write 5 lines on a card to thank someone.  To go out and get the gift, I have to go out, drive to the store, look up the registry, find the gift, pay for the gift with my hard earned money, drive home, wrap it, post it to the bride (for a wedding).

    I feel like the receiver gets not only the gift, but also the easier job.  Boo hoo you have to write a very short note, put a stamp on it, and post it.  

    It’s been 2.5-3 months since the shower.  Get those done immediately.

    The good news for the slow thankers/no thankers is that fewer people will be burdening them with gifts in the future.  So this is probably a one time inconvinience.

    Post # 38
    Member
    2513 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I wouldn’t be offended by this at all. In fact, I never got a thank you from Future Sister-In-Law for her gift or for being Maid/Matron of Honor (she didn’t gift the bridal party). I didn’t expect it because I know Future Sister-In-Law and how she is. It didn’t ruffle my feathers, and I was still happy to be part of her wedding.

    But….if the shoe was on the other foot, I would not do this or what Future Sister-In-Law did, so I voted “yes.” As you can see from this thread, it will definitely offend some people, and it is not correct etiquette.

     

    Post # 39
    Member
    4192 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    I wouldn’t be “offended”, but I see them as two separate notes. I attended the shower, DH & I attended the wedding. Two events, two cards.

    If your husband spilt beer on them, have him help-he should be helping with the TYs anyway. Even if he has doctor-handwriting, he can stamp and seal, at least.

    Post # 40
    Member
    706 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Hm. This is an interesting discussion. I don’t really see the big deal, as long as both gifts are thanked for.

    Post # 41
    Member
    6518 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @AGTbee:  no its very rude. And its even worse that you shower was 2 months ago and u have not thanked them. Being busy is not an excuse. Everyones busy, a majority of brides work and some even have kidsm

    Set up a schedule to do a certain amount of thank you cards a night. Even if its only 3 to 5…by the end of the week you have 21 to 25 thank you cards done.

    Post # 42
    Member
    564 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Rude. What if all your shower guests said, “We’re too busy to come to your shower AND the wedding, so we’ll just come to your wedding and our gift there will be enough.” You’d feel slighted, no? That’s pretty much the level of regard you’re giving those who took the time to purchase and wrap two gifts, and come to two events. 

    Post # 43
    Member
    1837 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    i personally wouldn’t be offended, but many people would and i don’t think combining your thank you cards is the right thing to do. no matter how busy you are, you need to make time to thank people for their gifts.  i think it’s lazy to combine them.

    Post # 44
    Member
    2176 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I think that it is kind of rude…. to me it says thank for the gifts because i have to but I don’t really have time to both with this note writing shit

    Post # 45
    Member
    5658 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Do what works for you but if I got that I’d be like “well THAT was lazy”

    Post # 46
    Member
    1776 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I would not be “offended” per say, but I would be a little eye rolly, I won’t lie.  However, since the last few showers/weddings I did not get anything Thanks Yous at all, I would be happy to get anything!

    The topic ‘Combing shower and wedding thank you's’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors