(Closed) Combing shower and wedding thank you's

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you be offended if you received a thank you for both a wedding and shower gift in one card?

    Yes I would be offended if I only recived one thank you card

    No I would not be offended if I only received one thank you card

  • Post # 47
    5870 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Just get it done, as fast as possible at this point.  Yes, it would have been ideal to send them seperately.  At this point just send one card that acknowldges both gifts.

    Also, do not wait until they are all done to send them out.  Do 15 cards every day, and mail them the next day while you are at work.  Keep a careful list and check off each person as their card is complete so that you don’t miss any.  


    Post # 48
    1979 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    @AGTbee:  So weird! I actually just received a joint bridal shower and wedding thank you/Christmas card.  I am not going to say anything to the bride, but it’s rude.  The shower was over 7 months ago and the wedding was over 5 months ago.  I attended both events while I was VERY busy (bridal shower was the day before a law school final exam and the wedding was while I was studying for the bar) AND I drove over three hours each way for both events.  And I spent over $100 on each gift.  So OP, I realize it’s a lot of work and you are frustrated that you have to re-write some, and you are busy… but everyone is busy.

    Post # 49
    3571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I would expect two notes. Would I be offended if I got one note? No, but like others I would probably roll my eyes. What WOULD offend me? The bride ever EVER mentioning that she was “too busy” to write me a thank you because it insinuates her time is more valuable than mine. After all, I managed to find time to drop hundreds of dollars on presents and attend multiple events for her. Yep, saying that would definitely prompt me to decline future events with the individual.

    Post # 50
    1832 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    @Mrs.LemonDrop:  +1 Bazillion and an Amen Sister!

    Post # 51
    1475 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    If I were you, I would still write 2 notes.

    If I were one of your guests and you sent a combo thank you card, I would think you were very lazy and unappreciative of my gift(s). I took the time to go out and buy you a shower gift and a wedding gift and you can’t even take 10 minutes to write off 2 thank you cards? I wouldn’t be getting you anything special for your baby shower, when the time comes either.

    Post # 52
    1004 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I wouldn’t care if I got one thank you, but apparently I am in the minority. I bet you are sorry you ever asked! haha Well, obviously from the posts you have your answer. Looks like you and  your husband have a lot of writing to do!

    Post # 53
    1935 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Personally, it isn’t the idea of combining the two cards that seems off to me – it’s the timing! Listen, EVERYONE is busy and that’s no excuse at all. You had time to plan a wedding, and I can guarantee you that you found a few hours over the past few months to watch TV, sleep in, etc. 

    Timing is critical with thank you’s. They kind of lose sincerity after time passes. So while I don’t hate the idea of combining cards, unless your shower is a week or two before the wedding, then you are late with your thanks. And that, to me, is rude. 

    Post # 54
    9800 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    No, I wouldn’t be offended.

    But I still think you should send out 2 cards.  At the most, I’d just think you were lazy.

    How big was your shower?  Now my shower was 2 months before my wedding but since I didn’t have as many thank yous to write, I had them sent out within a couple weeks afterwards.  I wanted them done before my wedding for that reason.  I can give you more leeway on taking 2 or 3 months after the wedding to send out wedding thank yous.  I would get out the shower thanks yous ASAP and then the wedding ones sometime this month.

    Post # 55
    679 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    2 gifts = 2 separate thank you cards IMO.

    It also makes you look cheap in that you only spent money on one set of thank you cards if you decide to go the one card route.

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