(Closed) Combining a Wedding Thank-you with a shower thank-you?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3303 posts
Sugar bee

I personally would send two different notes.

Post # 4
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

You should send two separate notes to each woman.

ETA: you could maybe stick both notes in one larger envelope to save in postage.

Post # 5
3082 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

If its personalized, like you write it out and specifically thank them for both in the card, I don’t see the issue with getting one card. As a receiver of the thank you, I wouldn’t care. As long as you personalized it and thanked them for each in the card. 

Post # 6
3265 posts
Sugar bee

They went and purchased gifts for 2 different events.  I think the least you can do it thank them for each.

I like the PP idea of putting the two notes in a larger envelope to save on postage.



Post # 7
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My first thought was send two in one envelope, but if I received that, I would think how silly, they could have sent just one, a thank you is a thank you.  However, if it’s more appropriate to send two in your family or circle then just send two.

Post # 9
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m pretty particular about thank you notes, but in this case, I’d send each lady one note thanking her for both gifts. If I received two notes right on top of each other, it might adhere to formal etiquette in some ways, but I would think it fails in the spirit of etiquette by making it look pro forma. If, on the other hand, you can write to each lady a nice note thanking her for contributing to both gifts, I think it comes off as more sincere. Perhaps use bigger notes than the standard and put a little more into each note. 

Post # 10
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My in-laws threw a bridal shower for me the night before my wedding.  Men were not invited, (DH was banished to a large tent in the yards, with his dad & uncles… even though it was raining pretty well by that time in the evening) but pretty much every female relative (from both the IL side and my side) and several family friends were invited and attended.

I sent two thank you notes because:

  1. the shower gifts were from just the women, the wedding gifts were (typically) from the couple
  2. the shower gifts were addressed to just me, the wedding gifts were addressed to both me and my husband

In order to prevent feelings of “redundancy” I used different cards for the bridal shower thank yous. (They were flat cards with a photo of a bridal gown and bouquet.  Cute, but Darling Husband was never going to OK them for anything he was writing or signing!)  The wedding gift thank yous were more formal, ecru cotton paper with our last initial engraved on them.

I paid extra postage, but these people took the time to attend two events and gave two gifts – they were worth the extra stamp!

International postage is, of course more expensive; but I’d still send two notes.  If you’re concerned about the costs adding up, you COULD write all of your notes, put all of the notes – in addressed envelopes – in a package that you mail to a trusted friend or relative, along with a check (or electronic transfer) for the amopunt of US postage.  Your relative could head to the post office, buy the postage, stamp your letters and mail them for you.  (I’d happily do the post office trip for my closest friends, but it would be a bit of work…)

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