Post # 1
My boyfriend is half-black and half-filipino and I’m chinese. We were both born and raised in the states. I’ve always wanted to have the traditional chinese tea ceremony and banquet when i finally got married. So, here’s the situation.
We live in seattle. All my family is in the bay area. Ideally, i would want to have a celebration in both Seattle and in SF (chinese banquet here), but we are on a LIMITED budget. So we have to nix the SF idea.
Having a ceremony and reception in Seattle will make it so that most of my extended family will probably not come. So most likely, only my immediate family would be attending. But I still want to have the chinese banquet i’ve been waiting for. I thought that the filipino money dance would cover the filipino traditions, but now my fiancee is saying that he wants more of his filipino culture represented and that having a chinese banquet when most of the guests aren’t chinese is going to be weird, like his relatives will wonder why we’re celebrating more of my culture than his…
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this? I’ve found some stuff online about making the ceremony more traditional filipino, but i think that’s for filipino catholics. my fiancee is not catholic and we were not going to have a very religious ceremony…
Any feedback is more than welcome. I’m feeling frustrated that I may not be able to have my chinese banquet. I wonder if the chinese restuarants would let us substitute some of the dishes if we had a filipino caterer drop off some lumpia and pancit or something…
Maybe this will turn out to be more of a discussion that i need to have with my sweetie…
Post # 3
I”m not sure if I can help you, but here’s what I’m planning to do for my wedding. My fiance is Filipino and I’m Chinese, so most definitely want to celebrate both of our cultures.
We’re planning to have a Chinese banquet for our rehersal dinner. His family was impressed when I first brought them out for "real" chinese food (no general tso’s chicken, beef w/broccoli, etc.), so I believe they’ll appreciate the banquet.
For our wedding day, we’re planning on having a Chinese tea ceremony before the actual wedding ceremony. During the actual ceremony, we’re doing the veil and cord, which are traditionally Filipino (no matter if they’re Catholic or not). The reception is pretty much your usual wedding feast…cocktail hour followed by dinner. We are planning to have a roast pig at the cocktail hour (this can be Filipion or Chinese). We are also thinking of changing into our respective cultures’ attire – him in a barong and me in a qi pao or something.
I don’t hink you having a Chinese banquet when most of the guests aren’t Chinese is going to be weird. First off, it’s more economical (I wished we had decent places here for a Chinese banquet). Second, your Filipino guests will love the quantity of food.
Hope this helps!
Post # 4
Hooray for Chinese brides and flip grooms! I’m in Seattle too, but am planning my wedding for Toronto. From the research I have done, most of the filipino traditions are performed during the wedding ceremony, ie. sponsors, coin, cord, candle.
I didn’t find many filipino traditions for the reception other than the money dance, variations on that, and releasing doves.
In the end, I think they will appreciate the delicious quality and quantity of the food. Most wedding banquet menus are pre-set, but I’m bet they can be flexible with replacing a few dishes. Do you have your reception booked yet? I think China Harbour is pretty tasty.
Post # 5
- Wedding: Small church ceremony, museum reception
why don’t you do something at the rehearsal dinner along the lines of a despedida de soltera/soltero. Traditionally, it’s more for the bride but you can have it honoring the both of you! You can bust out the lechon there, have a groom’s cake that is really a sansrival cake or another Filipino cake, and pass out sweets like polvoron as favors. Get creative- have a halo-halo bar for dessert! These products are all really easily obtainable in the Bay Area, they have all the desserts/sweets at Goldilocks.
If you need more ideas on Filipino traditions you can incorporate- look at the Weddings at Work website- it’slike the Knot of Philippine weddings! Good luck.
Post # 6
- Wedding: Small church ceremony, museum reception
also, there are tons of student groups in the Bay Area that do traditional Filipino cultural and dance performances- especially over at SFSU. Why not ask some to perform a few at the rehearsal dinner/ despedida? A nice treat for your Chinese guests, and a way to honor your fiance’s background.
Post # 7
thanks for all your suggestions so far!
i’m not too familiar with the despedida. can someone elaborate?
and i don’t think we’re going to do the catholic traditional stuff because neither of us are catholic.
and that’s a great idea about having the chinese banquet for rehearsal. i was thinking maybe we’d do it the other way, filipino cuisine for rehearsal and chinese banquet for reception. i guess we’ll have to weigh the costs!