Post # 1
My bf just signed up for a new credit card because it has a great rewards program, and he got one in my name as well so I can use it. I feel weird about that. We live together, so we share living expenses. He ends up paying for most things since he has a lot more money than I do, but I do pay some of the time. Somehow me using a credit card he pays seems different from us going grocery shopping together and him paying.
So far I haven’t used the card, and I don’t plan to in the near future. The only way I think I would feel comfortable using it is if we paid it out of a joint account, but I don’t know if that’s something I want to set up until right before we get married. The problem is he keeps bugging me to use it because he wants to rack up enough rewards points for a nice hotel stay.
We’re both very financially responsible and always pay our entire credit card bills before they’re due, so I’m not worried about that kind of thing so much as just feeling like a gold digger.
Anyone else live together and have a good plan for combining finances? Otherwise I think I’m just going to tell him I’m not using the card until we’re married and have a joint bank account. Then he can rack up the points himself by putting a ring on the card!
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
We just got a joint checking account right when we moved in together, so it wasn’t as big of a deal when I added him as an authorized user on one of my credit cards. Would you consider a joint checking account sooner? That might make it easier.
Post # 4
My concern about the joint checking account is that I wouldn’t be able to contribute much to it. I guess that’s really not that different from me paying for our less costly joint expenses and him paying for the more costly expenses, but somehow it seems different seeing the amounts we each contribute on a statement.
Post # 5
@lexie ((HUGS)) I think you’re forgetting that you and your beau are now a unit not two separate people living as roommates. He seems to be taking steps to forever keep you in his life and future and to making sure that you’re okay. For example he knows you don’t make as much money but he’d like for you to be okay if you have an emergency and can’t reach him. i’d feel insane about using his card to btw.
Post # 6
Im in a similar situation. We are in Toronto and I only have visitor status in Canada, therefore I have zero Canadian funds. He got me a credit card from his Canadian account so I can save money on the conversion. I, too, feel awkward using it. However, I only put stuff on it that relates to us directly. Groceries, gas, dining out, etc. and then he pays for it out of his account. The other stuff I buy I try to get when we are in the States and on my own card.
If you’re not comfortable getting a joint account, dont. I read “listen to your gut” on WB a lot, this situation would not be an exception in my book. I like the ring idea.. he’ll get LOTS of points for that!! Good luck!
Post # 7
my fi also gave me a credit card. it was after i decided to quit my job so i was unemployed and have no income coming in, so it’s a little different situation, but i still felt so weird about it too at first. i took weeks before i used his card, which was silly because i had no money of my own coming in. but crebre80 is right, it’s not about being two seperate people with seperate money anymore. and if things were reversed, wouldn’t you be doing the same for him?
Post # 8
My Fiance have had joint accounts for a while now, when we moved to Alabama I found out they didnt have my bank locally so he added me to his bank account and the money I had I took out and transfered to his, it hasn’t caused any problems, we have a pretty good realitionship when it comes to eachothers expenses. I don’t have any credit cards THANK GOODNESS lol but we have a house together so we have bills that are OURS that we pay so it is all good. What’s mine is his and what’s his is mine even though we are not married yet, we are just comfortable with that issue.
Post # 9
We got a joint account right after we moved in together. He pays for more stuff because he makes more money, but its all shared. I wouldn’t buy anything really expensive without him knowing though, and the same for him.
Post # 10
I did that…before we were married I did a balance transfer from one card to a lower rate card and while I did that, I went ahead and got one in mr. junebride’s name for emergencies…
his is kept in our safe in our basement (and I should keep mine there too, lol) – but we had just bought a house together and I knew that just in case he’d need to use the card, he’d be able to without me around…and it’s come in handy for a few times we had a plumbing emergancy and had to use it with the plumber there at the house – but really other than that he’s never used it.
it’s a good idea – but think of it like that. the credit card is not yours per se – but maybe only there for when you both need to pay for something and you’re the one making that payment…talk to your Fiance about it and maybe use it that way, if you don’t feel comfortable otherwise. 🙂
Post # 11
We got a joint account when we got a house together. We were the opposite though. I was working full time while he was working part time and going to school. I wouldn’t worry that you are making less. It doesn’t seem to bother him.
Post # 12
Although we lived together before getting engaged, financially we lived like roommates and just paid everything 50/50. No joint anything. I didn’t even agree to a family plan on our phones until we got engaged!
I know a lot of people feel differently, but I think it is very dangerous to combine finances before you are married. If things don’t work out then disentangling yourself financially can be very difficult.
Post # 13
I agree with hellohellohello that it can be pretty dicey combining finances with a boyfriend if things go south. The husband and I were engaged when we opened a joint account together.
Post # 14
It is actually not uncommon for couples NOT to combine bank accounts. I know of several couples that have been married for several years (each of them has been married for at least 10 years) that do not have a joint account. They have chosen this path for a variety of reasons.
Post # 15
I think you guys need to sit down and discuss finances – joint accounts and contributions from each party! This way you will be on the same page and feel more comfortable with your plan!
Post # 16
i have been living w/my Boyfriend or Best Friend for 2+ years out of our 4 year relationship and i don’t think either of us is in a rush to join bank accounts. i think we both are planning to do it at some point, but personally, i would prefer a ring on my finger before taking such a big financial step. even so, i plan to keep my own bank account in addition to opening a joint account, but joint accounts certainly would make paying for shared, major things like bills and furniture and (eventually) wedding stuff from a joint account. my Boyfriend or Best Friend makes nearly twice as much money as i do, so he fully acknowledges and accepts that he will be contributing more. i would probably not want to do a joint credit card account though, but that’s just because i think credit cards are evil and i wouldn’t want a scary debt situation.
at the end of the day, it’s your level of comfortability with where you’re at in your relationship and sharing finances that should drive your decision.