Post # 1
Ok so I have a set of friends that are getting married soon. They also have a baby on the way. They’ve been talking about their different options for names and how to address themselves as a family. Neither of them is particularly interested in changing their last names legally because it’s such a hassle. However, they do already smush their names together socially and it totally works. Their names combine easily.
As an example, we will pretend her last name is Anderson and his is Peters. They combine them and call themselves the Peterson family. I think it’s cute.
But they’re struggling with what to name the baby (and subsequent children). Would it be weird for them to keep Anderson and Peters as their individual last names (legally) but give their kids Peterson? Or should they pick one name or the other for the kids? Or should they suck it up and go through the hassle of changing their names legally?
Post # 2
I think anything goes nowadays! It’s definitely not traditional but it’s common to be untraditional now. That being said, I never thought it would bother me to have a different last name than my children until I did. Different situation tho and we just had kids before marriage. Counting down to when we marry and I finally get the family name! 🙂 But again, there’s nothing wrong with any combination or picking one or the other. It’s just whatever they’re happy with.
Post # 3
I really like this idea and wanted to do something like this too.
Post # 4
I think it’s totally fine for them each to keep their own names and have the kids have the combined name.
Post # 5
My husband and I both changed our names. The legal process is a bit of a pain but is not that big a deal. We figured that in the grand scheme of things it will be worth it. And it has been!
Also, if there is enough time before their wedding, they need to just have him go through the legal process! That way the marriage license will show his new name, and she’ll be able to “take her husband’s name” without the court fees.
DH and I both had to go through the process because we didn’t get around to changing them until our first anniversary.
Post # 6
They should do whatever they want to do!
Post # 7
They can and should do whatever works best for them and their family. It sounds like their “mushed” name is already one that’s pretty commonly known amongst other friends and family so I don’t think there’s much issue.
I once heard of a woman who gave each of her children their own whole entire names- including last names. I thought it was wonderfully strange, and it also challenges the assumption of naming being a way to show who we “belong” to.
Post # 8
My husband has two last names: his father’s and mother’s. We plan to do the same thing if we have a child. I wouldn’t combine our last names into one surname though. However, if it works for your friends, then that’s what they should do.
Post # 9
If they live in the US, then how they can name the baby would depend on the states different states have different rules. There was a post just the other day about how the mother could not give her child the name she wanted because “the hospital would not allow it.” However, from what I know, it boils down to the state rules and whomever is processing the birth certificate.
Post # 10
We didn’t do this, but do they have any issues on just naming their kids the husband’s last name?
Post # 11
We live in Canada and I have no idea what the “rules” are about last names or if there even are any lol I have no plans to have any kids so it’s not something I’ve ever thought about until now! I suppose they should look into that first before getting to far in the naming discussion!
That just opens up the question of why his name instead of hers? They’re equally parents of the baby and sheis the one who did 99% of the work (and the hardest work) to bring the baby into the world… so why default to his name? That is one of the factors that they are struggling with.