(Closed) Combo Bachelor Party – And yes, this involves the great stripper debate.. (long)

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee

I feel the same way as you. A weekend is a lot. Maybe if it was a skiing trip or something, but alcohol/strippers/etc is not cool. I also get your point about the guest list. 

So here is my question. Say Fiance had a separate bachelor party that you approved of. Wouldn’t he still be going to the other dude’s party as a guest and doing all that same stuff you aren’t happy with? Or is he ok with skipping his friend’s party?

Post # 5
Member
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Here’s the thing, figure out what is it that’s bothering you, the guest list issue or the stripper issue or really both? Or is it more about respect for you? If it’s something you feel passionately about then you should talk to your Fiance. However, just playing devil’s advocate here isn’t he going to be going to his friends bachelor party anyway? Is it likely that the guys just go about it in a different way and do the joint thing anyway without your Fiance knowing – a surprise if you will? Is there a way to do it and compromise? Like I said I think you need to figure out what’s really important to you and go from there.

Post # 6
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Do the people invited to the bachelor party also have to be invited to the wedding? Is that some kind of ettiquette rule? We are having a smaller wedding and almost none of the girls coming to my bachelorette are invited to the wedding.

Post # 8
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I totally agree with you on the stripper thing…i just think its so gross and disrespectful. I know everyone doesn’t feel this way but if thats how you feel, your Fiance should respect that and act accordingly. 

The thing about the guest list may be kinda awkward. If your Fiance doesnt care and as long as they know they arent invited I guess it wouldnt be a problem…

Post # 9
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

If strippers are a no-no in your relationship, put your foot down as nicely as you can, and put your foot down now.  I compromised with my guy that he can go to a strip club for some looky-no-touchy, and now I feel like an idiot (seriously, like his friends aren’t going to buy him a lapdance or 12?).  I wish I had nipped it in the bud.

Post # 10
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i think you need to be honest and let him know what is okay with your comfort level and his respect for you.

i wouldn’t use the guest list as anything, because in his defensive mindset, and (im going to be totally, brutally honest here) he’d think of it as a copout excuse for what the real reason is… it just doesn’t sit well with you.

 

Post # 12
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

yup.  been there.  hubs Groomsmen tried to plan his bparty in the Dominican Republic.  No way jose.  I immediately put all kinds of kabosh on that.  no sir.  I would not have had a problem with miami or vegas or whatever.  but i definietly had a problem with an ‘international’ trip planned for male debauchery.  hold your ground.  *i should also mention that the Groomsmen planning said trip is a MAN-WHORE and has cheated on his wife numerous times.  why he would think that i would be ok with my hubs going anywhere with him is beyond me…

Post # 13
Member
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@christalynn11 good for you for being honest with yourself, not many of us can always take the step back and do that, it shows great strength! I’m personally not against the stripper thing, I enjoy it myself and I think women are stunning creatures BUT I completely respect that it’s not for everyone (and there are some clubs that aren’t for everyone as well). To be totally honest though I’m not sure I myself would be totally cool with a whole weekend, it seems a bit excessive. Then again I’m the girl who probably won’t have a bachelorette and has a hard enough time being ok with a shower but the whole weekend thing in general seems excessive, strippers or not.

Post # 14
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I totally agree with you on the stripper thing and also am saying no way, but I’m more leniant with the weekend trip. i’m totally fine with my Fiance going to Vegas and gambling and hanging out with the guys. They want to act like boys and get drunk- fine with me as long as there are no boobies involved! I’m goign to Vegas with my girls too! Girl stuff- shopping, dancing, drinking and it’s totally fine.

But that’s just me, I htink you should sit down wioth your Fiance and tell him what your comfortable with. And I like how you are phrasing it that way it doesn’t seem like your setting rules. Good luck!

The topic ‘Combo Bachelor Party – And yes, this involves the great stripper debate.. (long)’ is closed to new replies.

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