Post # 1
I am having a destination wedding within the states and it is an equal 3.5 hours from all family members on both sides. My fiance and I each come from very large families, we have family forests and not just trees in our case. My mom is the 10th of 11, my dad is the 4th of 8. You start adding in cousins, their kids, plus my fiance’s family who is at 6 plus siblings with 6 nieces and nephews each and we are at 45 people with only having one bridesmaid and one groomsman. While we are inviting immediate family to the wedding chapel, which is limited to 100, is it in poor taste to invite friends and other families – i.e. cousins, their children, etc. to the reception only as the church only holds 100? I don’t want to leave people out, but I do want to get married in the church I want…and it is already paid for. My fiance thinks it terrible to invite people to the party and exclude them from the ceremony. I think that if we are limited on the church, that people will understand. HELP!
Post # 2
Tiered weddings are tacky. Invite everybody to everything.
Post # 3
My best friend is doing this and people are definitely offended by it. They feel they were just invited for a gift. They won’t say anything to her so I’m sure she’d tell everyone it’s a great idea but she doesn’t know what people aren’t saying to her.
Post # 4
I would not drive 3.5 hours just for the reception. Gift grab.
Post # 5
You can do reception only invitations if the ceremony is truly intimate- likely 10-15 people max. Having 100 guests at your ceremony does not qualify as an intimate ceremony.
Post # 6
I would absolutely love if I could skip the ceremony for every single future wedding I attend. The ceremony is boring and sometimes awkward and the reception is the fun part with food and booze. I guessing it depends whether your circle are like me or are like the PPs.
Post # 7
I actually disagree with everybody. My Fiance and I went to a wedding reception and not a ceremony. The bride and groom had a really tiny ceremony (just immediate family) but they invited all the friends to the reception and we had a great time! The party is the fun part too. I don’t see it as a gift grab because the reception is where wedding money is usually spent any way on decor, catering, DJ, etc. It is not like they aren’t fiving anything to the reception guests. I would be more offended if it was vice versa and I was invited to the ceremony but not given a meal to eat.
Post # 8
I’d happily go to reception only! Just make sure it’s super cool and fun. I don’t see it as a gift grab at all, especially as you are giving them dinner etc.
Ceremonies can be boring as hell, I’d happily skip most of the wedding ceremonies I’ve ever been to and go straight to the party!
Post # 9
I think people just like to be offended to be offended – I don’t think it it’s tacky at all and most people don’t even really care about the ceremony and are just looking forward to the reception anyway ( won’t probably admit it but it’s true). People think you are being tacky by just inviting to reception are normally just the sorts that are just there for the free food and drinks and a chance to wear a nice outfit
Post # 10
It’s the norm in the uk to have ceremony and afternoon reception with closer family and friends then a huge party in the night where everyone’s invited.
However you know if that’s a faux pas for your area or not.
If so, you might have to get radical with your guest list.
Post # 11
I think it would be okay if they didn’t have to drive 3.5 hours, but adding in the drive, I think you need to invite them to both events. I wouldn’t go if I had to drive that far and not be able to see the ceremony, which I personally love to see, especially if I am close to you.
Post # 12
I can’t speak for everyone but I would not be offended. I do not think it’s gift grabby at all when someone is invited only to the reception. And to be honest, there’s more people out there that would rather be at the reception than the ceremony and just would not admit to it. I would just be happy to be part of your special day.
Post # 13
I can’t helo but feel that if some cultures weren’t so obsesssed (and reading on the Bee it comes across as REALLY obsessed) with wedding gifts then it would be a lot easier to have weddings like this when the logistics / Bride and Groom have need or desire for it. I’m in the UK where ‘evening guests’ are not only common but the norm for most weddings – if an evening guest turned up with no gift (maybe just a card) no one (Bride and Groom or other guests) would bat an eyelid.
Seriously how come so many weddings are about getting gifts and not celebrating with people?
Post # 14
I wouldn’t drive 3.5 hours for a reception only. If it was local, I wouldn’t mind. However, depending on how close we were, I might feel like a B list friend or family member. 100 guests isn’t intimate to most people. Why do you want/need to invite additional people to the reception?
Ultimately you know your guests better than us, this may be the norm in your circle.
Post # 15
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
I wouldn’t drive 3.5 hours for dinner and dancing, but I’m not offended by the idea of having a smaller ceremony and a larger reception.