- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2016
I have enjoyed reading posts and comments in these boards, and felt like this is a good audience for some support. My fiance and I are doing a very low-key/budget wedding next year, meaning a lot of DIY and simplicity. We are not really into a lot of fancy-ness, I just want to be married to this awesome man, and give our families the chance to meet, mingle, and interact.
There have been lots of little frustrations, as I know are a part of planning a wedding. (WHY can’t we elope again? M-I-L) What really gets under my skin, is the assumed role of the bride. I have been in four weddings, meaning I am familiar with a lot of the questions that need to be asked, what little things can/will come up, and the basics of how traditional weddings go. I do NOT like being the person to have final say. I do not want our wedding to be just a reflection of me and my tastes, I want it to be a reflection of us. This means that I ask my fiance for input, I value his opinion, and try to give support and suggestions based on the experiences I have. I end up pre-planning lots of things to present him with a few options instead of flooding him with everything that’s out there.
It seems that because I’m the bride, people (seem to) assume (maybe I’m just assuming) that I am deciding everything and that if someone isn’t invited, or some other nonsense that it was my decision and not a joint decision. It’s SO exhausting to be taking the brunt of the decision-making. This isn’t because he isn’t interested in planning, or that he is not involved, it just seems to be other people assumptions that I am the decision-maker, and that I’m telling him what can and can’t happen. It’s tiring and also after lots of little incidents, can be infuriating.
This makes it hard to enjoy any aspect of planning. I don’t know how to divide up the decisions so that we have equal or shared decision making. I would appreciate suggestions on how to deal with these types of situations. Anyways, thanks for listening Bee’s!