(Closed) Coming close to one year mark and no baby!!!!!

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
9124 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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astrogirl30 :  Do not dread the diagnosis. Being infertile is nothing to be ashamed of – it’s a medical condition. Would you be ashamed of diabetes? or cancer? or a heart condition? Do not fear going to the doctor – you and your husband can both get checked out at the 1 year mark (that’s the typical time your doc/insurer want you to try on your own before getting treatment) and hopefully there is something easy they can do to help you.

To answer your questions I’m 31, TTC nearly 2 years, used BC pills for 14 years before TTC, and I’m currently in treatment (we first started testing about 10 months after we first started). We had a failed IUI and we’re about to start IVF with ICSI. The thing that keeps me the most positive is having a game plan. I’m not just having lots of sex and hoping for the best anymore. We know that we can’t conceive naturally and that is ok – I NEVER thought I would be okay with IVF, I always said I’d stop at IUI, but here I am. My fear of this process is nothing compared to my fear of us never having biological children. 

Post # 4
603 posts
Busy bee

It took 8 months to conceive my son, when I was 26 and DH 28 (also “healthy” and no known issues.) I know that isn’t quite as long as you’ve been trying, but I know what you mean about it seeming like most people get prenant in 3 months or less. It is hard. It was a strain on our marriage (we started TTC a couple months after the wedding) and made me really unhappy at times. I’d try to plan fun things each month so that a possible positive wasn’t the only thing to look forward to. Also, a lot of early testing isn’t very invasive, and knowledge can be very powerful in the TTC process. Personally, if it had taken us 12+ months we were planning on both getting checked out.

Post # 5
9124 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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astrogirl30 :  it all depends on your insurance and where you live. I am in Massachusetts which is one of 15 states that has a law requiring insurers to cover the cost of fertility treatments. We’ve had to pay specialist co-pays, and part of the cost of freezing my husband’s sperm was applied to the deductible, but it’s NOTHING compared to out of pocket cost. We had to sign a consent form indicating that we understand we will be responsible for the cost should we lose insurance coverage – the basic IVF was about $10k and the ICSI was about $3k I believe – this is at a top rated hospital in Boston. 

Post # 7
116 posts
Blushing bee

I am 25 and we tried for 18 cycles before our 2nd medicated IUI was successful. After trying as long as you had, I was dying to get help from a doctor. Ignoring any health problem will not make it go away. If you look into the statistics, the odds that you’ll need help are pretty high so go get help and get yourself that baby! We have no insurance coverage for infertility so everything was out of pocket. We spent about $2,000 in the process and had our ivf consult scheduled when we got our BFP.  We got so lucky that our IUI worked and I will be forever grateful for that. But, we weren’t going to hesitate at taking out $15,000 in loans for IVF because at that point most likely the only way we’d have a baby is IVF. 

Post # 8
1365 posts
Bumble bee

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astrogirl30 :  Perhaps a doctor can provide an alternate perspective and basic tests.  RE’s can really be helpful in my opinion. 

I’m 30 and we’ve been TTC since February 2015. We just finished our first IVF cycle and I am waiting for my FET, probably in a few months time. I am grateful for all of the help from my clinic, we needed the help due to a lot of issues I didn’t know I had (I would go months without a period).

I’m in Ontario and the province provides (mostly) funded IVF treatment (there are criteria to be met). However the current wait list is 3+ years. So ours was a private cycle of about $15,000 so far with meds. 

Post # 9
1586 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We’ve been TTC for a little over two years now and still trying.  Currently waiting to see how this third injectable IUI is turning out.  It is really hard!  I’m sorry you’re feeling more depressed 🙁 nothing about this journey is easy.  Your feelings are 100% normal and it’s OK to be more down about it all.  Our culture tells us if you look at a guy wrong you get pregnant.  Unfortunately, that’s not the case for a lot of us. 

To answer your questions, I’m 27, TTC for 26 months and I was on continuous cycle BCP for 4 years before we started TTC.  I was already seeing an OBGYN to control PCOS and endometriosis and she was watching things closely.  When we hit the 9 months trying mark, she put me on metformin and Clomid.  Did 3 rounds of that before going to the RE.  With the RE, we’ve done 3 rounds of Femara and 4 injectables cycle (one TI and 3 IUI’s). 

In addition to those, I’ve also had 4 surgeries for endometriosis, an ovary/fallopian tube removed (ovarian tortion resulting in an infection), 13 ruptured cysts and 4 others aspirated, 2 HSG’s and a saline sono since 2010. It’s been a long few years getting all of this under control!  

Honestly what keeps me going each month is trying something new (this month was seeing the chiropractor on a regular basis for a couple weeks), a sense of humor (sometimes you just need to laugh when you’ve got your feet in the stirrups again! Laughing at the stupid stuff sometimes is really helpful), support from here on the boards and our family and my faith that God will see us through this.  I know that we probably can’t have kids on our own naturally, we’ll need medical help.  We’re willing to try two more IUI’s before we call it quits and move to adoption instead.  And if it comes to that, I know we’ll be OK.  We will be parents, someday somehow.  And our hope is that God can use our story to be an encouragement to others that you really can make it through tough stuff and come out stronger.  

There are days that absolutely suck (to be honest, this whole week has been one of those for me!), but you can make it through this!  Vent here or to your friends, find the things that help you cope with the rough days (chocolate, coloring, walking, working out, reading, whatever you need!) and be gentle on yourself.  It only make it harder if you bottle up the emotions and expect too much from yourself. 

Post # 10
1409 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’m 30 and husband is 37.  My first pregnancy was a miscarriage at 8 weeks.  After that it took me a whole year to get pregnant again.  My husband and I went to see a specialist also at around the 10 month mark, because I have PCOS and suspected that I might neeed help.  Because of my PCOS I have very long and irregular cycles, ranging from 40 to 60 days.  A couple years back I went FOUR MONTHS without a period and wasn’t pregnant, which was when I was diagnosed with PCOS.  Everything was normal for my husband.  

They about drained me of blood, there were so many labs ordered at my very first visit with the specialist.  Doctor told me I have high egg reserves and all the other results looked normal except I had low Vitamin D.  He gave me prescription Vitamin D supplements, and I was scheduled to have a HSG when my next period started.  I was already on a period at that appointment so I steeled myself for a 40-60 day-long wait, but I ended up getting pregnant that cycle.  Don’t know if the vitamin D supplements had anything to do with that. 

Post # 11
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Your age?

24 (me) 41 (DH) 

How long have you been ttc? 

It was about 16/18 cycles in the end. I didn’t track for the start as we Ntnp and then I gave up tracking several times as it stressed me out so it’s somewhere around that long.

Did you use birth control? If yes, how long?

depo for two years if been off it about a year when we started

Did you visit a doctor? If yes, how long after ttc did you visit and what did he/she say?

yes after about a year I went to get blood tests that all came back normal DH was about to go for sperm testing (he put it off for a long time) when I fell pregnant

How did you get through each month without feeling depressed (if possible)?

i did feel depressed! I hated every pregnant person but I set myself little things to do each month that I couldn’t do when pregnant. That helped! I also allowed myself to buy some small baby bits to remind myself that it would happen one day! And it did we got there naturally. Sometimes it just takes longer! 

 Good luck! 

Post # 12
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

Age: 28 (got pregnant two months before 27th bday)

How Long: Seven Months (five months full TTC, two months NTNP)

Did I ever use borth control: I was on the pill for nine faithful years before I went off it to have a baby. I went off two months before my TTC journey began

Did I visit a doctor: Yes, at month three of TTC. They found I had a minor thyroid issue and slight estrogen dominance. I was put on Dissected Thyroid and told to take Chastetree (a vitamin) to balance my estrogen naturally. I was also under the regular care of a naturopath and getting accupuncture to relieve stress and boost fertility naturally.

How did I get through each month: Not going to lie, I was depressed and frustrated as hell. Plus DH was under the ‘high school sex ed’ impression that if sperm even touched an unprotected vagina the woman would get pregnant…so he blamed me for not getting pregnant right away and the fighting caused so much stress on our marriage I made him go to anger management. Thats why we were NTNP for the last two months…and THAT is when I got pregnant!

Post # 13
9124 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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snowflake8 :  guys with that mentality make me so mad! It takes TWO people to make a baby and until you have a semen analysis done there is no guarantee that he’s shooting good swimmers (or any swimmers for that matter). It reminds me of kings that would punish their queens for failing to produce a male….uh dude that’s ALL your fault lol

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astrogirl30 :  this thread got me curious about how much our journey with TTC has cost us so far even with medical insurance paying for most of it. Between all of the medical testing (and there has been a LOT for both me and DH), an IUI round with monitoring, sperm freezing, and the medications/vitamins/preseed/home pregnancy tests we’re just about $1,800 in the past year. It’s been all spread out so we’ve been able to absorb it into our regular budget, but it definitely starts to add up after a while.

Post # 14
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

It took my 8 months the first time (my son is just turned 2), 4 months the second time (ectopic, no baby), and this month is my 8th month TTC for baby #2.  Its so freaking hard.  It is even harder after the loss.  I really hope you get your bfp soon or get the help you need to get the bfp! 

Post # 15
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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astrogirl30 :  Awww Bee!


Have you been tracking your temperature and charting? Do you know when/if you’re ovulating? 

It took DH and I 9 cycles to conceive knowing exactly when I was ovulating, etc. We’re 35 and 36. By the time it happened I had given up on the hope of conceiving quickly and naturally. I was thinking ‘oh well the 1 year mark is approaching and we’ll need assistance’ when bam it happened. I had zero symptoms until the 6th week. 

ETA: I was on oral BC for 16 years before TTC. 

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