Coming close to one year mark and no baby!!!!!

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 16
Member
231 posts
Helper bee

Your age? I just turned 32, Darling Husband is 36. 

How long have you been TTC? For my daughter, we got pregnant while NTNP my 2nd cycle off of BCP. I went back on BCP after my period came back postpartum and stopped taking them again in August 2015. It took 13 cycles TTC to get pregnant again. I’m now 10w2d, due April 12.

Did you use birth control? If yes, how long? I was on BCP for about 12 years before TTC #1, and again for about 2 years between #1 & #2.

Did you visit a doctor? If yes, how long after ttc did you visit and what did he/she say? My cycles were short and from charting I knew my luteal phase was ranging from 7-10 days. I went to my old OB/GYN after about 6 cycles, and he basically blew me off. After around 10 cycles, I found a new dr, who took me seriously and started some basic tests, which identified really high TSH (hypothyroidism). Put me on medication for that. After 12 cycles I asked for a referral to an RE to get everything else checked out as well. I saw the RE in the middle of cycle #13 and she ran some bloodwork, checked my uterus and ovaries on ultrasound and gave me a list of tests to call and schedule on CD1 of my next cycle. I ended up pregnant from that cycle (which was the first full cycle that my TSH was within optimal levels). 

How did you get through each month without feeling depressed (if possible)? It was tough to not get discouraged. TBH, I was totally sick of having sex. A lot of retail therapy. I was anxious to see a dr and get tested bc some things really are easy to fix and I didn’t want to waste time if that was the case. 

 

Post # 17
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. As an “infertility veteran”, I actually think the phase where you think… but don’t know… that there might be a problem is particularly awful. It is like that first stage of grief. You also don’t know if you’ve just been unlucky (and will get a BFP soon) or have a long road ahead of you.

Here’s my recommendation: get in to a doctor soon and get a workup. The diagnosis can actually be a relief, and sometimes you can learn what you are dealing with. The good news is that once you know what you are up against, then doctors can help you overcome the vast majority of infertility issues.

Here’s my background: We’ve been TTC since July 2012 (I was 28 at the time, 32 now), so over 4 years. After a year of charting / temping / OPKs and having no luck, I went into the RE in summer 2013. I started with all the usual hormone tests, HSG, sperm analysis, and then subsequently did 12 medicated / monitored / timed intercourse cycles. We never had a diagnosis, and every time we were told things “looked wonderful” so we kept pressing ahead. I went to doctors who had me radically change my diet, I went to a NaPro doctor (who was a complete quak) before finally getting serious and finally going to a well-regarded infertility clinic in 2015 (the 3 year mark). We did 3 rounds of IUI, then went down the IVF path. I won’t get into all the details of that oddessy, but after a wild ride and a early 2nd trimester miscarriage I finally got a diagnosis – I have a major (but previously undiagnosed) autoimmune disease. The good news is that even something that sounds scary like that is totally treatable in the infertility context and I have a really good prognosis for having children in upcoming cycles.

Here’s what I’d tell you.

– Go in and get a work up. For the vast majority of people, ovulation/sperm/anotomical/hormonal issues are uncovered, and in a lot of cases pretty easily addressed. It makes life *SO* much easier to just know and address any problem head on.

– Don’t be afraid of medicated cycles, IUIs, or IVF. I’ve done it all, and for the vast majority of people it is honestly pretty straightforward. I had a complication, but that is actually super rare. IVF isn’t cheap, but I also had the revelation at some point that the amount we’ve been spending on IVF is less than it would cost to have had a kid in infant day care for a year. The costs of actually having a kid are way more than fertility treatment… when I think of it that way it helps me justify the money we are spending.

– Don’t be afraid to push for answers and get a diagnosis.

– Find support – in person if possible. The sad truth with infertility and pregnancy loss is that the grief is real and doesn’t go away. HOWEVER, I feel like the grief has become part of the landscape of my life rather than ambushing me all the time. Is that sad? Yeah… probably. But you know what, I’ve learned how to carry it. It is much easier to get to this point if you can find others who really get it. See if you have an infertility support group in your area, and make some “fox hole buddies”. It will make a difference.

Post # 18
Member
7280 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I have a new suggestion for dealing with the aggravation! I just had a friend tell me she’s pregnant and they weren’t trying. Obviously I’m thrilled for her but I am also totally jealous so I came home, stomped my feet and cried “this is so not fair!” to my husband like a complete child throwing a tantrum. Then poured a double whiskey. Is it the most mature coping mechanism? Definitely not. But I did feel better letting it out. 

Post # 23
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee

I know I’ve already replied but I just wanna second what rusticgirl  said. It’s so much easier once you know what’s wrong. I had a lap where they found stage IV endo despite no symptoms. This allowed me to have realistic expectations because I knew what was going on. Before that I was crushed every cycle, but once I knew what was wrong they could look at me and tell me what to expect. 

Post # 24
Member
4675 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My Dh and I were actively trying for a little over a year before we finally, sucessfully concieved naturally.  I had an early MC during my 6th cycle and had a few CP’s just before getting pregnant with my son.  I was charting, taking my bbt most of the time, taking all sorts og supplements, using preseed, and eventually did accupuncture.  I went to a doctor after a year, but because I had concieved, she didnt want to do anything. Luckily I got pregnant the next cycle.  Doing something different each month helped me keep some hope, but it was hard some months.  

Keep strong hon.  

Post # 25
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m on my 10th cycle as well and yes, it’s getting really frustrating. I feel you. 

Your age? 32 (husband is 34)

How long have you been ttc? on cycle 10. started actively trying in January and have been off BC since Sept 2015

Did you use birth control? If yes, how long? yes, about 13 years on the pill with no complications

Did you visit a doctor? If yes, how long after ttc did you visit and what did he/she say? I actually visited about 4 months in. I had a history of fibroids and since going off the pill (it was now 6 months off), I was having a lot of spoting issues. My doctor said I could either wait or get an internal ultrasound to check on the fibroid situation. I chose to wait since I was still pretty hopeful at that time. I ended up going back at 8 months TTC and she did the ultrasound (all clear) and ordered a semen analysis for my husband, which also turned out to be fine. So here we are, another month not pregnant. I made an appointment to see her again next month and I am asking for the initial blood tests. 

How did you get through each month without feeling depressed (if possible)? I’m also pretty bummed on the day that AF arrives (I don’t take pregnancy tests much anymore – they depress me more), but then I devise a new plan for a new month and make a mental list of the posiitves things I can think of (for instance, if we get pregnant this month then I can announce around Christmas – so fun!). I also immerse myself in my job which takes my mind off things. 

Will iterate here that I think it’s important to have a doctor who will listen to you. Finding a good match helps me feel more at ease at the doctor’s office and I never have to worry about her making me feel silly about all my questions or being concerned so soon. 

I think it’s time that you do a few initial tests and the SA. Sometimes it’s just a simple thing that can be fixed easily! We can hope, right?

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