- 6 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
***Feel free to skip ahead to the end, where I ask some questions and get to the main point of this post.***
Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to have this baby naturally. I think that birth is a very beautiful, natural thing and it does not need to be messed with medically or intervened with as long as both mom and baby are healthy. The thought of an epidural has actually freaked me out more than the pain of labor–I am not afraid of the pain at all, but the thought of not being able to use my legs for a while terrifies me. I don’t want a catheder, and I want to be able to move around and wash myself after birht–not confined to a hospital bed!!
I also decided that I wanted to labor at home for as long as possible when the time comes. We live less than 1.5 miles from our hospital, so we don’t need to be in a huge rush to get there. In order to avoid the pressure of getting pitocin to speed things along, we decided to stay at home until my contractions were strong and about 4 minutes apart. All of this, of course, is if mother/baby are healthy and it hasn’t been a long time since my water broke, if it does.
Well, I started having extremely high blood pressure with this pregnancy. By 18 weeks, my blood pressure was 160/70 and my doctor immediately prescribed meds. Those didn’t work, and I actually ended up in the emergency room after passing out and having anxiety attacks because my Bridal Party spiked so high. Now, I am on a different medication and on bed rest, and my Bridal Party is about 135/65 right now. Still quite a bit higher than it was pre preg, but nothing to freak out about. I figured that if my Bridal Party stayed in this range until the end of the pregnancy, I would be able to have the natural birth that I always wanted. I knew that if it spiked at any time I would need to get induced or C-section, but I have been really laying low and taking meds, hoping it would stay down.
At arond 24 weeks or so I found out that my abdominal muscles were not relaxing the way they should be. I have always been in great shape and actually was doing ab workouts during the beg of my first trimester. It’s been a bit of a curse, however, because now baby doesn’t have much room to grow and I experience a lot of cramping and trouble breathing because I don’t have room to expand. I take a muscle relaxer daily which my doctor prescribed, but my muscles are still not expanding. I had an ultrasound today, and found out that the baby is very cramped in the bottom portion of my stomach. My abs are so tight that the baby can’t stretch out properly and I am not even able to take in deep breaths because there is no room.
**here is where you will want to start reading if you skipped ahead**
Since it was my 30 week appointment, I asked our OBGYN about my birth plan. She said that it is unlikely I will be able to have the baby naturally for a variety of reasons. She said if I stay healthy and make it full term that she will support my desire for a natural birth, but she was very cautious and told me her various concerns: 1) She expects my blood pressure to keep going up. She sees me to be at a very high risk for pre-eclampsia, and oftentimes with this condition moms need to get induced in order to get baby out. We all know induction often leads to C-section. 2) She thinks it is a possibility that my body will not handle labor well becaues of my tight muscles. She said an epidural will help loosen and relax my muscles and make pushing easier. 3) The baby is so cramped and so down low, she thinks any sort of exercising or excessive movement (long walks) could induce labor. She said with the baby being so poised in the labor position already, combined with my high Bridal Party, I might go into preterm labor naturally. 4) Pain in labor spikes Bridal Party, and she might recommend an epidural for health reasons, simply to keep my Bridal Party at a manageable level.
I left the hospital feeling so dejected and so helpless. It’s almost depressing knowing that I won’t end up with the birth that I wanted–the birth that I feel is best and healthiest for both me and my child. The last thing I want is to end up paralyzed on hospital bed because I got a shot in my back that inhibits me from moving. I was hoping I would be able to use the tub, walk around, or even squat during labor. Worse yet– I can’t even imagine coping with being cut open and having baby via C-section. That is the farthest thing away from what I wanted.
I just don’t know what to do. I guess I was hoping you would all have some advice, or you could share stories (encouraging ones, please) about how your birth plan didn’t get met but everything was still okay. Any ways I should cope with this?
Now I am very nervous about this baby coming early–I am afraid to move!
Wow, this is kind of embarrassing posting a long thread like this… but it feels good to get everything out.