(Closed) Coming to terms with marriage, and what it means (a little long!)

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

He sounds like a man who loves you a lot. You deserve to be happy. If the two of you plan on spending your lives together you may want to think of the legal perks of being married most importantly who can make your decisions for you or him if anything happens to the other. There are even hospital rules in the ICU that if your not a family member you can’t visit. Just a thought for you since you say he is your family. You may want to make that official. Just so you know I usually don’t think couples should necessarily get married but in your situation it would be wrong if those rights were afforded your family members in particular and not him. Sorry not the most romantic of reasons :(. Really happy you have found a great guy 🙂

Post # 4
2492 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@yellowismyfavoritecolor:  That sounds like an amazing partner! Whether or not you marry him, you clearly are each other’s “forever” in your hearts. I am so glad to hear he is supportive of you and the reactions you have gotten to events in your life. I can’t wait to hear what ends up happening!

Post # 5
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I want to first acknowledge the part of your post that struck a cord with me:  It makes me sick to read about your “parents”, but neither you or your Boyfriend or Best Friend (or your future) should be punished for their actions, only them.  I, too, had a childhood filled with abuse (physical and constant verbal/emotional) and what is true for me is that it has shaped me in way that makes every major life event a struggle… only if I let it.  

The engagement itself with the ring is nothing different from what you guys have said about wanting to be together for a lifetime; the engagement ring is the symbol for that but you guys have already said the words so you guys are essentially engaged in my eyes (w/o the symbol on his finger).  Secondly, if you guys want something low key as to not feel overwhelmed: elopement, JOP, or intimate wedding w/ close family and friends, or the route I took: engaged with no set date until I’m ready (and we buy a house) 🙂

It’s good to know you have a beautiful present and future life that you’ve chosen for yourself, unlike the past that you have no control over.  Just keep moving forward, you’re making the right decisions. 

Post # 7
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am so happy for you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend that you have found a beautiful, loving partner in each other! You definitely deserve it. 


As a side note, I’m glad you still plan to marry him at some point. Though you treat each other as husband and wife, it would be nice to get the legal rights of marriage too. “just in case of emergencies”

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