Post # 1
I’m a UK bee and I’m often agog at the negative comments posters report people making about their engagement rings: So small! Too big and flashy! Couldn’t he afford a diamond? etc.
I really don’t think is at all common in the UK. I’m in my forties and I’ve never heard of anyone making negatives comments to someone’s face about their engagement ring (they might say something behind their back – I’m not claiming we’re all sweetness and light!). I’m wondering if there is a cultural difference here in terms of being outspoken and the acceptability of giving criticism. Maybe my experience is unrepresentative.
I also think there is less focus on e-rings here and coloured gemstones have always been a popular choice, whereas I get the impression that for many in the U.S. engagement = diamond. In the last 20 years, diamond only engagement rings have become much more common in the UK too, but nobody would assume someone with a coloured gemstone ring had it because they couldn’t afford just diamonds.
I’m perfectly happy to be told I’m wrong and hear from UK/European bees who’ve experienced this rudeness.
Do you think there are cultural differences around e-rings between the US/UK/Europe? What are they? Give your location with your reply.
This topic was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by Drizzle. Reason: Typo
Post # 2
Very early days but so far so wrong! LOL!
Post # 3
UK bee here. Someone once called my ring tacky and asked if it cost £20.. So, that was pretty rude lol.
I’ve also had comments about how big it is (it’s a cluster), albeit not negative ones; had people say ‘he must live you a lot!’, which, while meant as a compliment is weird to me; had people ask if it’s real; had people flat-out ask how much it cost (also experienced this a lot with the wedding); and had a man grab my hand and stare at it and say ‘Not bad’..
Personally I rarely comment on people’s rings unless I know them, and then I will only ever say it’s beautiful/gorgeous/lovely, etc.
Post # 4
I’m an American bee living in the UK with my BrIrish Fiance. I do think the U.S. puts a big emphasis on flashier, bigger rings. There seems to be a bit of “oh, if he loved you more he would have gicen you a bigger ring” in a lot of American interactions with engagement rings in my experience, while in the UK (at least in my circle) it’s much less competitive, and the focus isn’t on big big big.
Post # 5
My most negative comments have been from my own mother, so……
ETA: She seemingly loved it at first, so maybe she got negative comments that changed her mind? She now makes comments alluding to it being fake….
Post # 6
Incredibly rude! Like you, I would only and always say something nice. Funnily enough, I was surprised by the interest male friends had in my ring, often more than their wives and partners. Now our engagement is old news I don’t get comments at all, which suits me!
Post # 7
I’m uk I know a few people with coloured stones or coloured diamonds I think it’s more common here. I’ve had one sort of negative comment about mine from a “friend” who saw it for the first time and went well I prefer mine and I was a bit like ehh ok well I like it! Apart from that I think people either don’t comment on rings or say that’s beautiful. I’ve also never been asked for the specs on my ring like diamonds size/colour/clarity which seems to happen a lot on Here. I didn’t even know my carat size until I came on here and then looked at my ring band.
Post # 8
In the UK and I’ve never experienced any negativity about my ring (mine’s perfectly small and couldn’t be more ‘me’). I don’t think my circles read too much into ring stone/size etc. I find some posts on here to be shocking but I put that down to me not understanding the need to be flashy.
Post # 9
I live in Europe, no body ever said or ask anything rude about my ring. A co worker asked where its from, because she liked it so much and wanted something similar. But thats it. Only complements!
Post # 10
I’m in the UK and I’ve never heard anything other than “oohs” “ahhs” when people look at a newly engaged persons ring.
I agree also about gemstones having always been a popular choice. My mother has a garnet engagement ring, and I see a lot of sapphires.
I think modest rings are more common here (well, on the rural south coast anyway- maybe not in London!)
Generally it’s considered very rude to enquire or comment on people’s finances, so maybe that’s part of it.
Post # 11
Oh dear! What is she thinking? They are funny sometimes, mothers. My mum is lovely, but she’s hyper-sensitive herself which makes the gems that fly out of her mouth pretty amazing at times. The latest was it being a shame that I had inherited my grandmother’s horrible housewife’s hands instead of her beautiful hands! This was at our Mother’s Day lunch. My daughter (her granddaughter) let out a snort! She wasn’t being nasty though, just oblivious.
Post # 12
ime, there are certainly cultural differences involved, not just in courtesy and interaction between people, but also expectations. I’m from the USA but have been a contract worker, living in a number of places over the years. “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” I’ve worn w-rings on both hands, to mark my marital status. I can be dainty and wear one or two small ones when I’m in a social setting where the big stuff would be out of place. I’ve always loved stackers, and I find them more comfortable than my solitaires, so, it works for me.
Post # 13
Canadian Bee here. I’ve had loads of people make awful comments and more then once have come home crying. I have a very unusal ering (diamond wedding band) so people assume I’m a ‘horrible feminist who can’t even let the man who loves me do something nice like buy a real ering’. The irony is he picked it out without any input on my part. I’ve since gotten a lovely 3 stone ring to use as my wedding ring and the comments have stopped.
Post # 14
that’s just awful! I don’t understand why people would think, let alone say such things.
Post # 15
I’m a uk bee with a gemstone ering and I got a TONNE of rudeness. It was all based on gemstones not being ‘real’ ering and that mine was weird, not to their taste, patronisingly unique or ‘its so you’ in an insulting way. I got over it! Lol I still love my ring and I ADORE my upgrade. In a weird turn of events though shortly after my engagement a friend of mine got engaged with a tanzanite ring just like mine! Ha we were unique ring buddies at uni!.