(Closed) Commiting cardinal etiquette sin??

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Why not get in touch with your cousin and ask? Seems like the numbers work out.

Post # 5
Member
986 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would think you should start thinking of it as a vacation. 

You don’t know if you are invited

You don’t know if you have a guest if you are invited

You should not bring SO inplace of another guest

This is not an occasion for you, it is someones wedding. 

Plan it as a vacation and introduction to your grandparents outside of the wedding then you should not be let down.  

If you are invited..bonus, if you get to bring a date..double bonus.

Post # 8
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Technically speaking, she should invite him with  you, since you are in a relationship and it is improper not to invite both halves of a couple.  That is of course if your name was on the STD.  If it was you definitely should receive an invitation, since it even worse etiquette to send someone an STD and not an invitation.

That said, not everyone knows etiquette, so I’d call the cousin and say “Hey cousin Sally!  I’m starting to think about travel logistics to the wedding!  My mother may not come, is it all right if I bring my boyfriend James?  He’s very important to me and we’re pretty serious.”

If she says no, well, that’s her faux-pas but at least you asked!

Post # 10
Member
4064 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

@MrsTimmy:  All of this.

At the moment neither you or SO are invited.  I wasn’t invited to my cousins wedding, and we are extrememly close.  By all means ask, most etiquette says that is a no-no too, but better that than turn up uninvited.

Post # 11
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2013

 MrsTimmy     (message)          October 19, 2012         

I would think you should start thinking of it as a vacation.

You don’t know if you are invited

You don’t know if you have a guest if you are invited

You should not bring SO inplace of another guest

This is not an occasion for you, it is someones wedding. 

Plan it as a vacation and introduction to your grandparents outside of the wedding then you should not be let down. 

If you are invited..bonus, if you get to bring a date..double bonus.

 

 

 

This. Especially the bolded.

Post # 12
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Why on earth would you make travel plans wen you haven’t even been invited? Technically, anyone who gets an STD should also get an invite, but there may be a reason you didn’t. You should have called your cousin first before making plans.

Post # 13
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I don’t think you’re out of line at all.  If anything I think your cousin would be out of line for not allowing your long term bf.  With that said however, I would like to mention that some people are just rude.  A few years ago when my cousin got married, we got a save the date and then never got an invitation.  I thought it was a mistake or got lost in the mail or something, so I called to check and sure enough my cousin had ment to not invite us.  Even after sending us a save the date.  So be prepared for that possibility, even though it would be rude of her to do that.  I’m surprised nobody in your immediate family has gotten an invitation yet with the wedding only six weeks away.  I think you should call and double check, since I would expect you all to have your invitations by now.  Hope it all works out 🙂

Post # 14
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@Edelweiss:  Isn’t the whole point of a save the date so people can start making travel plans in advance?

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