(Closed) Common Fights of Engaged Couples

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What are the most common topics you and your SO fight about?
    Money : (56 votes)
    28 %
    Your parents/family : (26 votes)
    13 %
    His parents/family : (44 votes)
    22 %
    His involvement in the wedding : (34 votes)
    17 %
    Religion : (10 votes)
    5 %
    Wedding Aesthetics (color schemes, details, etc.) : (6 votes)
    3 %
    Territory (where to have the wedding) : (3 votes)
    1 %
    Friends : (6 votes)
    3 %
    Your wedding obsession : (18 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    2022 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Hmmm I voted for three topics of controversy in our household, but our tiffs tend to be that Fiance is not very helpful in wedding planning activities.  It’s not that he does not care, he just works 80 hours a week (including weekends) and is really not around to help me out.  The fights are generally not "you need to help me more" but more "you need to appreciate what I am doing more!"  Clearly, the fights are initiated by me : )

    Post # 4
    35 posts
    • Wedding: July 2009

    My Fiance and I have different ideas on how much we want to spend on our wedding.  We did sit down and compramise on a budget that we can both work with but he keeps trying to lower the number we agreed upon!  I think it comes from him being so thrifty and me being able to walk into a store blind folded and STILL pick out the most expensive item there…..it’s something we have to work on!

    Post # 5
    1363 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    We haven’t had a real fight about the wedding.  The closest thing is our ongoing search for an officiant.  We are having an interfaith ceremony and his mom is pushing hard for the rabbi of her choice (who may or may not marry us because I want my aunt–a lay minister–involved).  

    Our meeting with the rabbi did not go well, and I spent a lot of time in tears.  I don’t think he understands how much it made me feel like an outsider.  It’s frustrating him, but he thinks I’m a little silly for being so upset.

    Post # 6
    19 posts
    • Wedding: April 2009

    Our only major issue was 1-getting rid of the 20+ random pint glasses he has to make room for our nice new glassware and 2-keeping our invites (ie. friends) within our budget.  We solved the latter by having just very close friends to the reception and having a big afterparty at a nearby bar for work friends, etc.  We ended up compromising on the glasses (chipped ones HAVE to go) but I’m sure it will come up again when we have a whole kitchen to replace! 


    Post # 7
    135 posts
    Blushing bee

    We really don’t fight about any of that stuff.  I get more frustrated with him over the stuff he always does, like being late.  🙂

    Post # 8
    14183 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    We haven’t really fought about any of the things on the list in relation to the wedding. We’re both really easy going, and what is important to me, he lets me have my way because he doesn’t care that much. Me: "i want blush as a color" Him: "sure, i don’t care, just make sure the groomsmen don’t wear pink" Me: "Ok, what about the flowers?" Him: "ok, just not vests". Pretty basic.

     On off topics, we crab a little about our families. Of course. Mine live 5 hours away, and his live 30 minutes away, so we see ALL of his family for EVERY LITTLE SINGLE THING. and it gets on my nerves….i don’t want to spend my wonderful 3 day weekend at all of HIS family events. It’s overwhelming sometimes, and not always relaxing. He doesn’t get why i don’t want to be there as much as he does. part of it’s jealousy that I don’t get to see MY family, but part of it’s just the fact that i’m not that close with any of them, and i’d rather spend my time with just me and my Fiance or my friends rather than his family. They’re all nice, but you know how it is. In my mind, I go "why is your family more important than mine?" when reality, it’s just feasibility of where everyone is located

     Although I do agree with Erindsmar…sometimes it’d be nice if he just said "hey thanks you’re doing a great job with the wedding" but boys don’t really think that way now, do they?

    Post # 9
    2470 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We fight about driving. Honestly, we can get a long like peas and carrots but get us in the car together and its inevitable we will argue.

    Post # 10
    1379 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    We really haven’t had any fights about the wedding, and I consider myself really lucky. We will be discussing it and the conversation might start to get a little heated and he will calm me down and just simply say "This is our wedding, not something to fight about" and it brings me back down to earth … I say this now and we are 9 months away, I dont know if it will be the same once it starts getting closer.

    The two things I checked were "friends" and "other" … We typically only argue about two things, which is basically one, we struggle with acting like kids versus acting like grown ups. We go back and forth on where we are in life. We are 25/26 so we are still young and a lot of our friend are still single and going out to bars and getting drunk and doing stupid things … but then there are a few others that we dont see as often that are more on the same page as us – married or seriously dating – that would be more fun to hang out with … we just have a hard time finding balance. So that if we go out with the "kids" we sometimes drink too much and get annoying … or if we go out with the "grownups" one of us can be bored or annoyed.  But we really just are trying to find a good place witha  good group of friends and I think it’s just hard at this time in our lives to find a perfect fit for ourselves. I think it will get better over the next few years! Though we’ll probably be the first with a child, so then it will start all over! ha. 

    Post # 11
    732 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010 - The Tower Club

    My Fiance is always late, too! He has no sense of time and is frequently forgetful. 🙁

    Post # 12
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    The only thing we have so far had a tough time seeing the other’s point of view on….is religion.  We are different religions (but both still Christian) and we are getting married at his parents’ church, by his mother who is a minister.  So I asked how the ceremony would go.  And apparently there are rules, and b/c we are different religions, I don’t know these rules.  He can’t understand why I don’t know the rules.  I also wanted to know which rules were hard-and-fast rules, and which we could bend/break.  Yeah….not a good question.  He said that we have to stay by all the rules to keep his mom happy.  I was like, since when is your mom one of the ones getting married here??  It’s OUR wedding, I think WE should make the rules, not do whatever his mom wants.  Yeah.  We’re still having this conversation. 

    Post # 13
    2249 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    I voted other- he keeps leaving the door unlocked at our house when he leaves!!!! that is pretty much all we fight about unless i am pms ing, then i want to fight about everything.

    Post # 14
    90 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    i wish it wasn’t about his fam…but they so often are… 🙁

    Post # 15
    461 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2009

     We had disagreements al ot because he thought I was wearing myself too thin and wasn’t asking him for help. when i did ask for help it ended up being stuff he wasn’t very good at craft wise.

    Post # 16
    360 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2009 - Westwind YWCA camp

    When we fight, we fight about communication (how he misunderstood me, I misunderstood him) – it’s something we always try to work on.

    And we fight about the definition of a "clean" house 

    The topic ‘Common Fights of Engaged Couples’ is closed to new replies.

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