Post # 1
Has anyone else noticed how sensitive people are becoming lately and are easily offended, especially in regards to weddings? I’m not trying to pick on anyone, and it isn’t just noticed on the Bee, but in general.
There was the girl who turned down being a BM because the invitation wasn’t personal enough. People who are upset because they aren’t specifically named on an invitation. Those who are upset over an etiquette faux pas. People who are upset because their child cannot come to a wedding.
Generally, I am not going to be offended unless you call me the “c word” or punch my puppy. Please tell me that I am not alone in over looking things that aren’t intentional insults.
Post # 3
@somerrae: Im having this “everyone is offended by anything i do” issue. Recently my sister is upset with me that she “has” to wear the same dress as my bridesmaid – she is the maid of honor…and there are only two of them, so I want them to look the same. Then shes mad that I want her to wear similar shoes as the one other bridesmaid. I think im being a pretty laid back bride by letting them choose there dress and shoes and hair, however I would like them to coordinate, and apparently this makes me a “bridezilla”. So at this point Im sticking to my guns, if people are upset by my decisions, they can just get over it.
Post # 4
You’re not alone. I admit to being oversensitive at times, but some of the stuff I’ve seen is… wow.
I don’t think it’s so much being “easily offended” as it is “being super-judgemental and catty.” FFS there were two threads about dry weddings where the OPs were told off for being ‘rude’ to their guests and taking the whole issue way too personally. There’s another thread for those of us who are getting legally married before the ‘big show’, and someone had to go and add some really insulting tags to it– when it was in response to another thread full of privileged princesses ripping on brides who got legally married before the “real” wedding! Major WTF moment for me.
So of course the people who are super-judgemental are going to be easily offended, they’re LOOKING for reasons to be easily offended.
Post # 5
YES people are being overly sensitive. everyone is offended by something these days, cant say anything to anyone. But I say etiquette can eff off and if you look preggers i will ask you, i dont care. I think people dont have the right to run my life because of the way they “feel” about certain things.
Post # 7
@somerrae: I have a sister-in-law is so afraid of being offended she doesn’t speak to anyone, stays home and only socialises with her immediate family and her husband (my brother). She doesn’t want/have any friends and spends her time going from work or home.
It is so sad, since they got married 11 years ago my brother grows further apart from us. It also doesn’t help that our younger sister has “foot in mouth disease” so you can safely say my sister-in-law HATES my sister with a passion. But SIL plays the innocent, helpless, victimised wife perfectly.
Post # 8
@somerrae: No, this is a common topic amongst me and others nowadays. You have to think and think again before you speak, not because you are about to say something that’s actually rude (i.e racist word), but because you might offend someone on another ridiculous level, lol. There are very few things I’m actually truly, very sensitive to, but otherwise it sucks having to walk on egg shells around everyone!
It makes me wonder if there’s a correlation between the easily-offended and the extremely increasing use of electronics (like having our faces stuffed in our phones/texts/internet all the time); there’s that whole “what’s that supposed to mean?” theme in both. Or maybe I’ve taken too many research classes, haha
Post # 9
I can’t speak for whether this is a growing trend or not, but I did notice all those other threads full of touchy comments.
I’m experiencing this, too, in planning my own wedding. What’s ironic, though, is that FI and my family are getting so offended at every decision I make that’s based on proper ettiquette.
They want me to put registry info on the invitation. Uh, no. They criticize me for being so “formal” about addressing the invitations. Hm, maybe I’m being formal about it because…it’s a formal event? I just want to facepalm everytime I hear them “expressing their opinions.”
Post # 10
@somerrae: I think there is a huge difference between feeling offended and feeling hurt.
When you are trying really hard to be accepted by your fiancés friends and you get invited as a + guest to their wedding when yours is 6 months after…it can hurt a bit. Maybe you’re self conscious about them liking you because you’ve had some issues with others in the group. Maybe you want to be seen as your fiancé’s partner and not his tag along or “just in case you guys aren’t together in two months”.
The thing about intent is, you have no clue if it was intentional or not. In fact, I might have good reason to doubt it was just a simple mistake.
Or maybe etiquette exists so we don’t hurt the people around us.
Kind of like that guest who wanted to bring a girlfriend to your wedding instead of her new boyfriend after you approved her plus one. You got angry, but in the end, it wasn’t her intent. on my side, I thought you overeacting….but hey, we have different ideas of what etiquette is.
We all have our reasons. Strangers on an Internet board know nothing of our lives and who we are and what makes us tick. That makes us all unique. It doesn’t mean we are wrong for feeling the way we do and I don’t think anyone here has the right to judge anyone for it.
Post # 11
@CreatureFromTheBlackLagoon: Annoyance and anger aren’t the same. Very few things make me angry — again an issue of being overly sensitive. If something makes me go “WTF,” it’s probably annoying. If you intentionally insult me, I may be angry.
And this post was about you, either. I didn’t read yours until after I wrote this. People being upset or overly dramatic about “improperly” addressed invites is pretty common around here.
Post # 12
@somerrae: I responded to your post because although not directly about me, your post is the exact situation I posted about earlier. It may have not been directed at me, but hey…if the shoe fits.
We could try and fit all emotions into tight little packages but it doesn’t work. Like I said, we are all unique in our situations and anger.