- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
This is gonna be long…DH and I have been having issues communicating when it comes to emotional topics. We are great friends, laugh, joke, etc. all the time but our only arguments happen when discussing certain things…problems at my job, his brother and mom, and fertility issues to name a couple.
I think our communication has gotten worse since he switched job locations (I posted about the work location change before.) He used to be so happy at the new place…but in the last month, I’ve noticed a change. He comes home angry at the traffic (his vice) and hardly talks to me. He works late when I’m off and the days I do work, he beats me home by a couple of hours (which has happened from day 1 at the new place.) And he is usually laying on the sofa for the rest of the night.
A while ago, I noticed he was watching porn on the nights I worked late. No biggie but we weren’t having sex. I mentioned it to him and explained it was NOT a problem as long as it wasn’t a substitute for the real thing to which he agreed. By The Way, I have a MUCH higher sex drive than him and he’s aware of this…he also knows I can get grouchy if I don’t have it on a regular basis.
I was having a great week at work and was hoping to BD during my fertile time. One night he was on the phone with his dad late and then went to bed, another night he had a headache, the next night he fell asleep on the sofa. The 4th night I worked late, I came home to him cooking and he was in a pissed off mood. Mind you, he’d been home for 3 hours. We didn’t BD b/c he pretty much didn’t talk to me the whole night. I saw the next day he’d been watching porn the previous night…I asked him and he said he was frustrated at the traffic, needed to take care of business…fine but WHY are still pissed hours later and then go to bed w/o me?
Also last weekend, he’d gone to the store to get some meds and he bought us condoms. I was confused…we use them once in a blue moon during AF but we still have an entire box from months ago. And since we’re TTC, I don’t get why he’d buy them. His reason is they finally had “his size” and since they are usually out, he decided to pick them up. IDK maybe I’m reading too much into that but it wasn’t something he normally does.
He tells me all the time that I’m “too hard on us” and our relationship should flow. He recently brought up his crazy ex (when we agreed not to talk about them) and said how easy going she was and didn’t let their relationship bother her. She’s also the one he cheated on repeatedly btw. I think he liked the fact that she worshipped him and basically let him treat her like crap…which I’ve made it perfectly clear that I have too much respect for myself to put up w/that.
He’s also starting to have weird trust issues w/ME. Asking if customers are hitting on me at work, checking my Ipad messages, etc.
I feel like he is pulling away from me but I don’t know what is causing it. My job situation recently got way better and I’m happy at work again. We spent this past weekend doing what he wanted to do…although I was physically exhausted from work, I didn’t complain about him springing on the last minute plans. And he was watching porn again while I was at work and we didn’t have sex at all this weekend. We had an argument about his brother yesterday and he wound up going to bed w/o me again. It’s starting to take an internal toll on me.
Bees, I’m worried…we had been working through the trust issues we had a few months ago and things were getting better. Now this is happening. His dad is moving here soon (a few weeks) and we hardly get any time to talk…I can’t imagine how bad it will be when he’s working at the same place as his dad.
Suggestions on how to approach this? Am I being TOO hard on us? If so, how do I let it go?