- 3 years ago
My husband is an amazing man and he’s honestly made me so proud from the moment I met him. He grew up without his mother as she passed away when he was 11 and was thrown into foster care at a young age. He was quickly in trouble with the law, got himself into stealing and doing whatever he could to get money the quick and easy way; as much as it was wrong he was okay with doing it. So he has a criminal record, which I was aware of when I met him. The reason I am going into detail is because I feel that this is a reason behind why he has some issues with communication.
He was always used to fending for himself. He would never partner with anybody when it comes to making decisions. He made his own decisions for himself, and without thinking of the consequences of his actions at the time. We have been together for a little over 3 years and married for 3 months now. He has always had a bit of issues when it comes to communication and its just really testing my patience at this point. He went out and was going to buy a brand new car, he already has one that is still carrying an outstanding balance. He didn’t tell me anything about this, I just happened to call him after work one day and he mentioned it. I was so disapointed in him. I was so annoyed. You should tell me stuff like this, it’s going to impact our insurance, our cash flow and so much more. Why wouldn’t you think it was a good idea to tell me? This isn’t the first time he has done something like this as well. When he does we talk about it, and he tells me he will try to keep that in mind but he was never used to having to make decisions together with another person. I was sympathetic toward him in the beginning now it seems like pure ignoring of the issue.
We got into an fight about it on Thursday night. I told him I was exhausted of trying to get him to understand that we are together, married and we are supposed to make choices together as they impact the both of us. He was close minded about it and I reached my breaking point. I went out for a drive and came back home. I got ready for bed and layed down on the sofa to watch some TV. I fell asleep, and I was woken up by him around 3 AM. He was asking me to come to bed, I agreed. When I was in bed he was trying to hug me and pretend like the issue was solved. I just kept my eyes closed and pretended I was asleep. I had to work in the morning, and he woke me up around 6 AM to ask if I wanted breakfast. I really didn’t want any because I was having breakfast with my co-workers for their going-away. I told him, “thank you but I wouldn’t be able to eat twice. So please don’t waste you’re time.” I went back to sleep and of course he made it anyways. I got up and ready for work, came back into the bedroom and said “Ok goodbye, I’ll see you later.”
I was on my way to work and he called me in tears, that he was scared I was going to leave him. And I was honest, I am very frustrated. I don’t understand why it’s hard for him to talk about life changing events, financial changes things that will impact the both of us. There isn’t making desicions on our own anymore because we live together, we have joint finances and we both contribute to that. So I was going to pay half of insurance and car payment for an unneeded car? He said he would do anything for me but for me to please forgive him. I was honest bee’s, I am trying to but he keeps making me feel like I’m not important to him? He treats me like GOLD, such an amazing man to me. However, when he makes BIG decisions he rarley talks to me about it.
I also told him, making me breakfast isn’t going to fix this issue. He needs to make an active change. Keep me in mind when making choices that could impact us both.
He’s a great person, faithful is very thoughtful of his behaviour. He’s been through a lot in life and this is the ONLY issue we have. His inability to communicate decisions/choices that could impact us both as a team. He doesn’t do this ALL the time. And not with all decisions that can impact us both. But I feel as a married couple if it’s going to affect him then I tell him, no matter how small it is. I want him to do the same.