(Closed) Communication Issues… I need advice

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@AmyDee:  I think he has some issues he needs to work out himself. It seems as though he is unhappy with himself and he is blaming it on you. It is both wrong and unrealistic for you to automatically know what he wants just becuase you are his girlfriend. I would discuss it with him and let him know it’s not practical for you to know everythign and he needs to communicate with you. This may be something he needs to work out with himself and make himself happy before he can be in a healthy, happy relationship with you. Good luck 🙂

Post # 4
Member
3368 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

If he wants you to stay up later, then he can say, “I’d really like to spend more time with you tonight.  Would you be able to stay up with me?”  He sounds super co-dependent.  Please take some time to get clear with yourself on what you will and won’t accept in your relationship.  I spent a lot of years trying manage and understand this type of attitude and I wish I had known it was okay for me to decide I didn’t want to deal with it. 

edit: I went back and read your post about him getting mad at your for saying “Calling would be easier.”  His comment to you that “his venom is worse” worries me (among other things).  He sounds so immature and ready to fight.  Are you truly happy with him?

Post # 6
Member
3368 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@AmyDee:  Hon, his thinking is the way that men who bully their girlfriends act.  No, it is not the way that mature adult men think.  And you are not going to help him understand that or change.  Is he in counseling?

Post # 7
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Kick him to the currrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrb

Post # 8
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

sounds backwards to me. I thought women were the ones more likely to expect their partners to read their minds lol

Post # 9
Member
3368 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@vorpalette:  And here I was trying to subtle…  🙂

Post # 10
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Quite frankly he sounds like a drama queen. I think in this case you need to decide if you can put up with his behavior, and if you think he has changed enough.

Post # 13
Member
3368 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@AmyDee:  You sound soooo much like me when I was younger.  I stayed in a relationship for almost 10 years because, well, when he was nice, he was really nice.  Please be honest with yourself.  Are you happy?  Are you starting to worry about everything you say and do, wondering if you’re going to set him off?  Of course there are some good times with him… but be brave enough to look at the big picture.  Do you want to give away the best of yourself to someone who can be this unkind to you?

My dad asked me to give it three months~ to not talk to each other during that time~ and then decide what I wanted to do.  I didn’t do it.  I wish I had.

Post # 14
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@AmyDee:  I think it sounds like you know the right thing to do.  I know I personally could not deal with the emotional toll of being in a relationship with someone that insecure and emotionally needy–not to mention non-romantic and not into the same activities as you.  Between the last paragraph of your most recent post and the bolded statement from your first post (he didn’t realize the crazyness of that sentence the moment he said it?!?), it seems like you already know the answer Frown

Post # 15
Member
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I went back and looked at your old posts, and this guy is ridiculous. You are not a mind reader, not should you be. Honestly I would get out while you still can, between this and the situation where he freaked out over you making an innocent suggestion and proceeded to harass you via text message, this guy is not worth your time. Cut your losses and move on.

Post # 16
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee

@strawbs:  Exactly what I was thinking!!

@AmyDee:  You’re right, you’re not a freakin’ mind reader!  You don’t know what he needs, only he does!  After reading your update, I really think the two of you need to sit down and have a calm, collective heart to heart.  Maybe it is time to let him go, but I don’t know anything else about your relationship.  With that said, if he’s not willing to talk about it in a mature, un-drama king manner, then I would probably think about whether you want to keep that in your life…

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