Post # 1
I normally have been posting on the wed boards but realize, I’ve now moved up to the newlywed status! So I haven’t posted much here as of yet.
Suggestions are much needed. Here is our situation:
I used to work 10 mins from our home, with that being said, I was very active with running, working out, being able to run our daily errands, cook, clean, care for the animals, I was happy. My Darling Husband was commuting about an hour and half but he worked off hours so it wasn’t terrible for him. In July, he started a new job and my current job was shifted to move offices ( near where my Darling Husband new job is) which took my 10 min commute to 2 hours and 30- 3 hours ONE WAY. My Darling Husband and I commute to work now together since we are near each other now; however, we spend about 4-5 hours commuting. WE ARE MISERABLE. We can’t move because we bought a house over a year ago.
So my question is this, how do we still keep active and still keep the newlywed feeling. I hate to admit but by the time we get home (most nights no earlier than 8:00, after waking up at 5am) we are beat, tired, and we run around trying to cook dinner, take care of the animals and do our odds and ends to prepare for the next day that the bedroom time is lacking big time. Any other bees commuting a lot and interfering with being a newlywed?!!! I hate that I feel so rundown and unactive, whch I think also makes me feel a bit insecure in the other areas!
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union
Honestly? You guys should sell or get new jobs. That kind of commute is just unsustainable and soul crushing. I commute a total of 3 hours a day and I think it’s horrible. If you can’t sell, rent out your place and rent a place in the area you work. Really. Life is too short to spend 5 hours a day just getting to and from where you work.
Sorry I didn’t answer your question at all.
Post # 4
On the bright side, you’re able to spend the commute time with your hunny – maybe you could get some audio books or something to help you guys pass the time, and do something together…
As far as not feeling active, I know it’s tough to squeeze in workouts when you’re stuck in this type of situation, but I would recommend Jillian Michaels’ workout dvds, especially the 30 Day Shred – they’re short workouts, but get results… and then you’re not taking too much time out for workouts and can still get a good nights’ sleep!
Post # 5
I actually do think ribbons answered your question; that is exactly what I was going to say. I don’t really think it’s possible to live like that and stay active and feel fulfilled. Forcing yourselves in the bedroom is just going to suck the joy out of it. I’m sorry, and definitely good luck!
Post # 6
We listed our house to rent and haven’t gotten any hits, I’ve been looking for a new job since July and no such luck yet. It’s def not a way to live, and really takes the toll on you mentally and physically.
Post # 7
I agree with other posters, this seems unsustainable.
In the meantime, can you make your commute time fun and useful in any way? I have a very short drive to work in comparison with yours, but it made my quality of life improve about 50% when I started listening to books on tape in the car.
And I’ll echo 7seven–Jillian Micheals 30 day shred is amazing! The results you get for 20 minutes are so worth it!
Post # 8
Sell the house and buy a new one near your job.
Or try to find a new job.
Post # 9
I agree about renting it out. My husband and I had to rent out our house in CO when we moved because the market was doing poorly when we were moving. But since you bought only a year ago, the market hasn’t really gone down much since you purchased, so you might be able to sell after all. You won’t make money off the sale but after fees and everything, pretty much no one does unless they keep a house for decades.
Post # 10
My husband and I bought our house just over a year ago, and we’re actually not allowed to sell for 3 years from purchase date, without penalty. Renting may be the way to go if you can… 🙁
Post # 11
I second the PPs – that is absolutely no way to live and there really isn’t any way to feel like you’re fulfilled and have time to get stuff done when you spend that much time commuting. I feel like you have three options:
- Both of you find new jobs closer to where you live (although I’ll admit that in this economy, that probably isn’t a very easy task).
- Sell your current home and move to somewhere closer to work. Yes – having only lived there for a year, you will likely lose some money between realator fees and the lack of equity. But that money loss, IMO, is probably well worth the sanity (and the savings on gas money).
- Rent out your current home and either buy or rent a new place close to work. This has the added task of becoming a landlord that comes with responsibilities of its own. But if you can rent the house for close to the cost of your mortgage, you aren’t out so much money.
Keeping things how they currently are is going to do nothing but run you both into the ground. You really ought to start taking steps to change the commuting situation.
Post # 12
what?! 3 hours EACH WAY?! Holy sh*t.
First of all, i know somebody in England who does this. I was baffled. He drives in two days a week and telecommutes the rest. Is that an option for you? Two days a week still sucks, but it’s an improvement at least.
Try some of the ideas here. You probably will lose some money, but your sanity will suffer.
Post # 13
I agree with Ribbons. My first thought after reading your post is “why are they still in this situation” I would be furiously looking for a new job in my area or be trying to sell my house! That is NOT a fun commute and you guys should not have to suffer through that everyday! Is there any way your company can let you work from home and only go into the office one day a week or something? I would try to talk to them and let them know you are having a really difficult time with this!
Post # 14
I’ve been looking since July and sadly there isn’t much out there. I try to do the I’m working from home dig every once in a while, but my company doesn’t really “support” it. They say they do but for my field ( I work in HR) they expect us to be in the office. It stinks because with the move, I didn’t even have an option to take it or leave it, least if they laid me off I could get unemployement, but if I quit I can’t and even regardless with the mortgage and all being on umemployement would be scary as heck for us. I guess I just have to keep hoping that something SOON will come along. If I can at least find a different job, my Darling Husband can rearrange his schedule so he doesn’t hit all the traffic. The sad thing is we are only 35 miles away but with traffic that’s just how long it takes. It takes us an hour to go 6 miles!
Post # 15
just curious if traffic is very bad, is there another mode of transportion that would make getting to work quicker? like a commuter train?
Post # 16
Bless your heart. I can’t even imagine. In the short term, it sounds like you are making the best of a bad situation. I agree with everyone else – keep looking for a new job, and keep trying to rent out or sell your house so you can be closer to your job. You may have to take a small loss, but its better to do that in the short term than sacrifice your quality of life. Good luck