(Closed) compensate guests overseas?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Send Save-The-Date Cards early and tell them there’s no pressure to come and you totally understand if they can’t make it. The couple is not obligated to pay travel expenses of any guest. But there may be some very important guests that can’t afford to make it, so you should talk to your Fiance to decide how to handle it. Broadcasting the ceremony on Skype could work or possibly covering travel expenses for certain essential guests.

Post # 4
Member
46595 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would definitely send STD’s well ahead of time so the overseas guests can watch  for good airfares or use mileage points.

I can understand your discomfort re the expense that the guests may incur, but it is really not your responsibility. Those who attend your wedding will bethere because they want  to be there.

I have attended overseas weddings. We usually combine the trip with a vacation so other than affecting our choice of where we will vacation, the expense is no different.

Post # 5
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My fiance is Europen and most of his family lives overseas as well. To fly his immediate family over and to pay their accomadtations would  cost at least 5-6K alone, never mind including all of his extended family. Don’t feel bad, nobody should be expecting you to pay for their airfare – whether they are flying internationally or otherwise. I do agree that you should let them know your wedding date as soon as possible though, so that they can (hopefully) get a good deal on their flights.

Post # 6
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

You certainly are not responsible for their travel costs.  Like others have said, send STD’s or even just a verbal heads up about when/where and the fact that they’re invited so they can watch fares to see if it’s possible, and those who can afford it and want to come will do so.  If there’s an absolute VIP that can’t afford to make it, you could potentially offer to help with their expenses if it’s a possiblity for you, but no obligation.

Post # 7
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m in the same situation, however, I met my Fiance when I was living in Scotland on a Working Holiday Visa. When my visa expired he came back to Canada with me also on a WHV.

We are having the wedding in Canada, luckiliy his parents and sister are able to attend as well as one aunt. Everyone else understands. 

What you can try to do (if it’s within your means), is to travel to europe within a year or two and have a mini-celebration with the relatives who were unable to come. This is what my Fiance and I hope to do.

Post # 8
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m an American living in Paris (so cliche) with my Fiance, so I’m dealing with the same thing. You are totally not responsible for paying for travel expenses, but…I would certainly let people know as far in advance as possible. I sent out an email with date as soon as we knew, and asked who was tentatively planning on attending just so I could help with their travel arrangements. If I could have done it over, I would have had a longer engagment – I wanted to get married within about 7 months (I want to move back to the US soon and wanted to start that process earlier), however I didn’t give people enough time to save up for it. 

Also be aware that you may not get the turn out you want from his side – it’s a lot of money, but also the time people take off from work, so they are using their vacation time on you. On the Franco-American weddings I’ve attended, usually it’s just the parents, siblings, and a few really close friends who will make the effort. From the RSVPs I’ve gotten back so far, it seems to be the same trend as none of my extended family will make it. I’ve been living in France for a few years now so I’ve invited some of the friends I’ve made here obviously, but probably about 70% of the wedding will be from my FI’s side. 

Post # 12
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

My friend Kate married a man from Ireland. May of his aunts and cousins who were very close to him couldn’t make the big day. It was going to be all of her family there. Her fiance was pretty bummed until they found this guy who live streams weddings. So it obviously wasn’t the same thing, but his family got to watch the wedding live. The bride and groom spoke into the camera so their loved ones not there got a special message from them. 

 

Pretty sure this is the guy’s website. ( new England company) 

http://www.coastalwebcast.com

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