(Closed) Compensation for Officiant who is a Friend

posted 9 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
1580 posts
Bumble bee

Were you planning to only pay for the flight as compensation? Or were you going to give him a gift or money?

Does he normally charge people for performing their ceremonies? If so, I’d offer him that amount of money and leave it up to him to turn it down and “gift” you the ceremony.

Post # 4
1060 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - Anela Garden Chapel & Japanese Cultural Center, Honolulu

that’s a good question. We have our family friend pastor doing our ceremony too..I was just going to write him a check for a set amount, and let him use it towards flight purchases or whatever.  He’s bringing both his wife and daughter, so it would be pretty expensive if I had to pay for all of them.  But honestly, if the youth pastor is your friend, he’s probably not expecting anything, so any help you could give him would be good.  But just in case the other couple sets a precedent, you should probably talk to him so he knows what your plan is.

Post # 5
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Would your officiant be attending your wedding anyway, even if he wasn’t officiating?  Our officiant (my uncle who’s a judge) would have been planning to attend our wedding anyway, so I never felt obligated to pay for his travel or accomodations.  If that’s the case for you, I wouldn’t feel bad about not being able to do so.  Just let him know in advance so he can plan for his own travel costs and not be under any wrong impressions.  I don’t think you need to feel bad about this.  Paying for all the things like your friend is doing is a nice gesture, but a luxury and not something I would expect most people to be able to afford.  I’m sure your officiant will understand that if you talk with him.

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