(Closed) Competing Friends?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
9086 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

You’ve probably been acting the same way. Be happy for her, this could be the man of her dreams, even if he likes asparagus.

Post # 18
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@veryberry13:  No need to be embarassed, we all get irrational feelings from time to time.

Maybe I’m just projecting (I recently went through something like this), but after re-reading your post, I’m actually wondering if maybe you find her chitchat so irritating because it reminds you that your 3-year relationship is no longer in the hearts-a-flutter honeymoon stage. 

I know sometimes I lament the end of that period of my relationship, when Fiance was constantly bending over backwards for me 😛  It can be hard not to get a teeny bit jealous when you hear how your friend’s new guy is doing all those awesome things that your SO used to do for you, back when he still felt the need to impress you.  If that sounds familiar, then just remind yourself that what you have with your SO has developed so much further than that (and maybe remind him that you still like to be impressed sometimes!).

Post # 19
Member
8439 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@veryberry13:  Hopefully she’ll only be like this for another few weeks 😉  Congrats on your 3 year anniversary!

Post # 20
Member
2454 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

When I was in a new relationship, I was so over the moon and talkative about him.  Someone sat me down a month later and said I had to stop.  We were not friends for a while after that, because I took it as a personal attack.  (We’re back to friends now, fyi.)

Low and behold, about a year after, a close friend got into her relationship, and I realized what the problem was before- it was just annoying.  But I sucked it up, because I understood what it was like to be her.  And that’s the policy I have now- I remember what it was like, so I shouldn’t fault them for doing the same thing I did.

Post # 21
Member
4522 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@lilbluebird:  +1

@veryberry13:  For what it’s worth, I dont think you’re being a bad friend. I think a bad friend is someone that bails out on established plans under the guise of “not feeling well” but then has their new Boyfriend or Best Friend over instead. I wouldnt lose sleep over it, but I’d definitely remember that the next time she begged me to go somewhere.

One-Uppers are annoying on a molecular level.

Post # 22
Member
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

@veryberry13:  don’t be embarrassed- everyone in the situation would be annoyed too, and just being a good sport about it. LOL. +1 to everyone’s comments on the ‘honeymoon’ stage etc

If it were me I might nip it the bud and ask her about him right up front in the convo, let her have her 15 minutes, then be like ok WHAT ELSE is new or talk about something i was interested in and try to move on in the convo away from there on out.

sometimes also I feel like people want to be acknowledged so i might try something like “Wow, how sweet of him to remember you said you liked aspargus and then make it for you. He sounds like a great guy and like this could be the start of something really good. It’s great to see you so happy, and I’m really happy for you.” Rather than an “uh huh, yeah, really sweet” which the person can just ramble over, that could be like an acknowledgement/summation/nowlet’smoveon response. They’ll have to say ‘thanks’ then it’s your turn to say something completely different. hahaha

Post # 23
Member
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

@LilySarah:  speaking of seinfeld episode’s, remember that friends episode? 😉 haha! phoebe gets in a new hot relationship which makes monica realize hers isn’t all honeymoon-y anymore? (not saying that’s you OP, just throwing out the friends trivia! hahah!)

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