(Closed) Competition

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

don’t sweat it– she’s probably insecure and needs to “one up” you to make herself feel better and well liked. Are you close to his family? She probably feels like she needs to prove she’s friendly and close to them which screams insecurity! don’t let it get to you and try to ignore it! 🙂

Post # 5
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Women can do wacky things if they feel insecure or threatened by someone else. I wouldn’t worry about her because if she is going to one up you for every little thing, you probably shouldn’t care what she thinks anyway. Just ignore her, and let her be rude because at the end of the day she only makes herself look mean.

Post # 6
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

She’s definitely trying way too hard and obviously feels threatened by you, especially since YOU have a ring and she’s still the gf. Is she being rude and immature? Very much so but I’m sure she’s making it very obvious and it’s not going unnnoticed. If you have to talk to someone, tell your Fiance but unless it gets a little more out of control and something more happens, I would do my best to ignore it. Sorry she’s being such a brat!

Post # 7
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I agree with habibah14, the girlfriend is probably trying to feel closer to the family because she sees how close you are to them. It may be jealousy, it may be that she wants to be a part of the family too so she’s mimicing you. Maybe you & your Fiance can double date with his bro & gf & get to know each other? If you’re up for that, I’d have your Fiance ask his bro about it. I’m not sure how much age difference there is, but maybe she just doesn’t have much in terms of family & wants that acceptance?

Post # 10
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Hmm well maybe you could try what @serabell suggested to see where her head is at. Maybe you could double date and try and get to know her a little better, see if she is genuinely trying to get close to the family and its coming off wrong or that she is just a jealous brat who is being seriously immature.

I don’t blame you for getting pissed off, it would piss me off, too and I don’t believe in people playing stupid, she has to know that you know what she’s doing. I’m sorry but she’s not that oblivious to how she is acting, the intentions behind it, and that you can see it (especially if its through facebook). She seems like she wants attention and is going the wrong way to get it and to get to know the family. She sounds very pushy and is trying way too hard.

I want to believe that she’s genuinely trying to get to know them but I don’t know that that’s the case. Try and get to know her and you’ll be able to tell, plus it will only make you look better and her look worse if she continues to act like she does.

Sorry the Fiance doesnt see it like you do, sometimes they just dont get it ha. And sorry if this sounds harsh and b****y, I guess I’m just jaded and dont want her to take advantage of you or the situation.

Post # 11
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Ohhh.. hmm that’s odd. How long has the brother & girlfriend been together? I don’t even call my Fiance family mom or dad, just their names. We’re not very close thou.

Usually people are fake because they don’t have things together & try to hide & pretend everything is great & wonderful when its really a crazy mess. Maybe she’s shy around people she doesn’t know as well? Or maybe try once more & ask them what they’d like to do… maybe she felt “out of her element”? You’d think she’d at least try thou! Or maybe just had an off day or maybe she was kinda nervous/intimidated by you? Not trying to make excuses for her but I’d say give it another shot… I don’t know the situation thou.

If its jealousy, I’d try my best to ignore it & just not tell her future plans. Sorry if she’s just bein a brat, but at least you live kinda far so you don’t have to deal with it too often.

Post # 13
Member
2309 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Yeah an odd predicament to be in. For now I think you should just concentrate on your relationship with Fiance, and try a little harder to ignore the situation.

You just be genuine with your FIL’s and I’m sure sooner or later they see that their son is the primary focus of your life and you’re not a phony trying to BS your way into the family.

Sooner or later they’ll see through her phoniness, you just me careful not to let her drag you down into that while competing with her.

You be you, while she eventually embarass herself.

Post # 14
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i def agree that she is just immature and trying to find security in the family by comparing herself to you.

i say don’t let it bother you and you do your thing with FI’s fam as you would whether or not she was in the picture.

as for the fakeness, do what you need to to keep the peace; but just fyi… I HATE FAKE PPL! 😛

Post # 16
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m sorry you are dealing with this. I can’t stand fake people either. I think you should just continue being yourself because one day everything will come to the light and she will make a huge fool of herself.

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