(Closed) Competition or not?

posted 6 years ago in Family
  • poll: Competition or not?
    Yes, sounds like it : (10 votes)
    36 %
    No, it probably has nothing to do with you : (18 votes)
    64 %
  • Post # 3
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I would give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that it has nothing to do with your ring and recent engagement.

    That said it’s kind of sucky for your brother that she wants something so expensive that he can’t afford. It’s between the two of them though. 

    Post # 4
    4676 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would try not to worry about it, it may have nothing to do with you! 

    Post # 5
    786 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I personally think its weird to “upgrade” or change ones engagment ring, but doing what shes doing sounds super odd. I would feel really bad for your brother. I cant imagine how hurt my fiance would be if i told him I wanted a different ring as he poured so much time into picking and designing the ring for me. Whether or not shes competing, she sounds kind of shallow and insensitive. I would be offended on behalf of my brother.

    Post # 6
    5786 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Its only a competition if you participate in it. I would just ignore her.

    Also, don’t feel too bad for your brother he didn’t have to give in to her demand for an upgrade. If I told my Darling Husband I wanted a bigger diamond he would laugh at me.

    Post # 7
    288 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    IMO I think she does see it as a competition, as sad as that sounds. I am the last of 3 sisters to get married. My middle sister had this HUGE ring compared to me, seriousl, I think it’s like 3k. It doesn’t make me feel bad about my 1.5k ring, but it makes my fiance feel bad. He is always asking me if I want a bigger ring. I tell him that it’s not the size of the ring, but the symbolism behind it. He was so proud that he chose the ring for me on his own and did everything without me knowing about it. I love my ring, and for me it’s the perfect size. It’s shouldn’t be a competition, but sadly for some people that’s how they see it. The amount of love a person has isn’t shown in the size of the ring, shoot, look at Kim K, her wedding only last 75 days LOL.


    Post # 8
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I remember I was taking a class once with a girl who got engaged. Her soon-to-be sis in law got engaged and had a bigger ring. So the girl in my class admitted to us and insisted that she needed a bigger engagement ring. And got one.

    It’s definitely competition. But it’s not your problem, it’s your brother’s problem, sadly for him.

    Post # 9
    2053 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Who knows, it could be because she wanted a bigger ring than yours, or some other girl friend she knows, or whatever. So many variables. It could be the start of a competition between you two, or it could not. Like a PP said, it is only a competition if you participate. Don’t let it damper your wedding planning and engagement bliss. Enjoy and good luck!

    Post # 12
    637 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    it could be a competition on her end…but as long as you don’t participate, who cares.

    But I would advise you to stay away from your Future Sister-In-Law, especially during this sensitive time.  My sister just had her wedding a few months ago and we both got engaged around the same time.  Even though none of us were being competitive, but there were times I had to be extra careful not to offend her/make her feel bad (since my budget was higher).  In your case, since she seems like competitive, I will keep myself a distance from her on the wedding planning.

    But in the end, even if she is competitive on your ring, it’s between the two of them. Your brother can always say no to a bigger ring.  Maybe get her one at a later time in life when they have more money. 

    Like other bees here, if I had asked for a bigger ring, he would’ve laughed at me, and possibly call off the engagement 😛


    Post # 13
    6661 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I think you should assume that the ring has nothing to do with you and try not to get too judgy about them upgrading. You never know what’s going on behind closed doors. It might have been your brother’s idea to eventually get a bigger stone and she’s just taking him up on it now like you said before the wedding.

    Post # 14
    14497 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Who knows, who cares.  This is between her and your brother.  I feel sorry for him though if she’s demanding something ridiculously out of his (or their) budget.

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