Post # 1
I am getting really frustrated with my fiance’s friend.
Fiance & I got engagaed on Christmas Day and a few days later his friend stopped by and congratulated us. He told us he was bummed that he didn’t beat my fiance to it. So I was okay with the comment. Then he said his ring topped mine, whatever he spent 3x’s as much as we did (at least we aren’t broke from my ring). So….then we found out he proposed on New Years Eve.
-Now, we set our date 9/3/2011 and he claimed that was when they were going for,
-Then he started asking about the venues we were looking at, next we found out they are looking at the same place we were planning on.
-Now they are going with the same colors and planning their wedding one month before ours.
Some of I can undersand, but really. My fiance is really laidback never gets angry, but even he is getting a little pissy. We now are not even saying a word about our wedding to them at all. They both are really nice, I just didn’t realize so competitive.
Any comments or advice?
Post # 3
OMG! I would be livid! I dont understand why people get so competitive when it comes to weddings because its supposed to be unique to the couple not stealing other peoples ideas. I would suggest you and Fiance keep your wedding details top secret from now on. I hope they dont actually go with a copy of your wedding and he was only joking.
Post # 4
Are they competitive or just lazy/unoriginal? Either way, I’d stop discussing things with them too 🙂
Post # 5
OMG! I have a friend who tries to compete with everything I do!!! Its sooo annoying because her and I were only work friends and I havnt even seen her since she quit! She picture mailed me a picture of her self in the DESIGNER dress she was getting (who shows ex-coworkers pictures of there wedding dress), she calls me to tell me how much her wedding is going to be and to ask how much mine is… I finally told her she needed to grow up and to call me after our weddings, cause I almost smacked a B*@#h..lol
These people are obviously jelous of you and you Fiance… if they need anymore details… feed them false ones. Let them go off of your fake ideas!
Post # 6
Man, usually it’s a copy cat bride, but you’ve got a copy cat couple!!
I think you should lie to them. Yes, I said it. LIE to them. Tell them you’ve moved your wedding to the month before theirs (July?). Then tell them you’ve changed the venue, and the colors. Pick really ugly colors. Tell them you’ve chosen flowers that are incredibly expensive or impossible to get in July (like dandelions or tulips). Talk about getting a dress, and tell them you’ve already chosen the dress. Pick one online that is NOTHING like what you’d ever wear. Continue to convince them of that…right up until your Save-The-Date Cards go out. Don’t send them an STD. After they go out, don’t talk anymore about your plans.
Sure, it’s juvenile. Sure, it’s passive aggressive. But really…if they are truly making all of their plans based on what you say you are doing…then they deserve it.
Post # 7
Haha, Mighty Sapphire wins! Definitely tell them you’re super flattered that they like all your ideas so much that they decided to copy them, and then tell them you moved your wedding to like two weeks before theirs. 😀 And I love the idea of making up crap that would be nearly impossible and telling them you’re planning on that, ie flowers out of season, twelve ice sculptures, wine made from unicorn tears…
Post # 8
@LittlestBirds unicorn tears?? Seriously you girls make my DAY! (sad, but true!)
I think that is an awesome idea (making up fake plans to show them) People like that are super creepy. I had a crazy ex roommate always copying EVERYTHING I did! One time I got a new laptop for school b/c mine broke and it was nicer than hers so she went and got a new one! FREAK! Hers was perfectly fine! Lots of other creepy copy cat things too, but that’s another story. Stay far away from those kinds of people they have serious issues!!
Post # 9
@LittlestBirds: Unicorn tears…that is awesome!
Post # 11
I would be sooo mad. I would defenetly go with the lying idea. They dont deserve to know your plans if they are going to copy them. Are these good friends? Either way, I think it is super creepy and they are just cheating themselves. They wont have an original wedding…..they will have yours.
Post # 12
Eh, am I the only one not on board with the lying here?
I’d lean towards just not discussing wedding plans with them at all. If they ask, politely reply that you’ve decided not to discuss your wedding plans with anyone not involved in the planning anymore, because you want to be new to your guests on the day of.
Oh, but don’t lead her here to WB. Is that wrong of me? Probably. :/
I’d also change up the stuff they’ve already heard about (fortunately you have plenty of time for that!)
If you were going to lie to them, I would totally rave and destination weddings, personally. Maybe finding an all inclusive package is more up their creative alley. 😉 (no hard feelings towards Destination Wedding girls – I just know some of the packages available out there require minimal effort if you so desire!)
Post # 13
I agree with @daydream.. don’t discuss anything more with them about the wedding. Try as hard as you can not to talk about it, ask questions or anything while you are around them. What a pain in the butt, though. I can’t believe some people!
Post # 14
That is annoying. I understand that it’s hard to avoid talking about your own wedding to another couple who is planning, but you have to make an effort to differentiate them. I always banned talk of my wedding at my sisters showers adn family gatherings while we were both engaged. And I specifially made my date 6 months after hers so there would be no conflicts. Sounds like a battle of the one-upper’s. Just let them win, obviously material things are more important to them.
Post # 15
@MightySapphire- Awesome, I would totally do that.
@Littelestbirds- Unicorn tears? Seriously that is the funniest thing I’ve read today!! Laughed out loud.
Post # 16
I am with not discussing anything. I am in the same situation and it is SOOOO freakin annoying.
We don’t bring up anything. and they pry and pry and pry for answers. it SUCKS.
Good luck girl.. just keep your mouth zipped. and when they ask or pry.. just say “we just really want everything to be such a surprise for our guests!” and smile 🙂