(Closed) Competitive Friend that is Getting Married

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

OMG! I would be livid! I dont understand why people get so competitive when it comes to weddings because its supposed to be unique to the couple not stealing other peoples ideas. I would suggest you and Fiance keep your wedding details top secret from now on. I hope they dont actually go with a copy of your wedding and he was only joking.

Post # 4
1104 posts
Bumble bee

Are they competitive or just lazy/unoriginal? Either way, I’d stop discussing things with them too ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

OMG! I have a friend who tries to compete with everything I do!!! Its sooo annoying because her and I were only work friends and I havnt even seen her since she quit! She picture mailed me a picture of her self in the DESIGNER dress she was getting (who shows ex-coworkers pictures of there wedding dress), she calls me to tell me how much her wedding is going to be and to ask how much mine is… I finally told her she needed to grow up and to call me after our weddings, cause I almost smacked a B*@#h..lol

These people are obviously jelous of you and you Fiance… if they need anymore details… feed them false ones. Let them go off of your fake ideas!

Post # 6
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

Man, usually it’s a copy cat bride, but you’ve got a copy cat couple!!

I think you should lie to them.  Yes, I said it.  LIE to them.  Tell them you’ve moved your wedding to the month before theirs (July?).  Then tell them you’ve changed the venue, and the colors.  Pick really ugly colors.  Tell them you’ve chosen flowers that are incredibly expensive or impossible to get in July (like dandelions or tulips).  Talk about getting a dress, and tell them you’ve already chosen the dress.  Pick one online that is NOTHING like what you’d ever wear.  Continue to convince them of that…right up until your Save-The-Date Cards go out.  Don’t send them an STD.  After they go out, don’t talk anymore about your plans.

Sure, it’s juvenile.  Sure, it’s passive aggressive.  But really…if they are truly making all of their plans based on what you say you are doing…then they deserve it.

Post # 7
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

Haha, Mighty Sapphire wins! Definitely tell them you’re super flattered that they like all your ideas so much that they decided to copy them, and then tell them you moved your wedding to like two weeks before theirs. ๐Ÿ˜€ And I love the idea of making up crap that would be nearly impossible and telling them you’re planning on that, ie flowers out of season, twelve ice sculptures, wine made from unicorn tears…

Post # 8
1232 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

@LittlestBirds unicorn tears?? Seriously you girls make my DAY! (sad, but true!)

I think that is an awesome idea (making up fake plans to show them) People like that are super creepy. I had a crazy ex roommate always copying EVERYTHING I did! One time I got  a new laptop for school b/c mine broke and it was nicer than hers so she went and got a new one! FREAK! Hers was perfectly fine! Lots of other creepy copy cat things too, but that’s another story. Stay far away from those kinds of people they have serious issues!!

Post # 9
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

@LittlestBirds: Unicorn tears…that is awesome!

Post # 10
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch


Post # 11
494 posts
Helper bee

I would be sooo mad. I would defenetly go with the lying idea. They dont deserve to know your plans if they are going to copy them. Are these good friends? Either way, I think it is super creepy and they are just cheating themselves. They wont have an original wedding…..they will have yours.

Post # 12
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Eh, am I the only one not on board with the lying here?

I’d lean towards just not discussing wedding plans with them at all. If they ask, politely reply that you’ve decided not to discuss your wedding plans with anyone not involved in the planning anymore, because you want to be new to your guests on the day of.

Oh, but don’t lead her here to WB. Is that wrong of me? Probably. :/

I’d also change up the stuff they’ve already heard about (fortunately you have plenty of time for that!)

If you were going to lie to them, I would totally rave and destination weddings, personally. Maybe finding an all inclusive package is more up their creative alley. ๐Ÿ˜‰ (no hard feelings towards Destination Wedding girls – I just know some of the packages available out there require minimal effort if you so desire!)

Post # 13
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree with @daydream.. don’t discuss anything more with them about the wedding. Try as hard as you can not to talk about it, ask questions or anything while you are around them. What a pain in the butt, though. I can’t believe some people!

Post # 14
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

That is annoying. I understand that it’s hard to avoid talking about your own wedding to another couple who is planning, but you have to make an effort to differentiate them. I always banned talk of my wedding at my sisters showers adn family gatherings while we were both engaged. And I specifially made my date 6 months after hers so there would be no conflicts. Sounds like a battle of the one-upper’s. Just let them win, obviously material things are more important to them.

Post # 15
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@MightySapphire- Awesome, I would totally do that.

@Littelestbirds- Unicorn tears? Seriously that is the funniest thing I’ve read today!! Laughed out loud.

Post # 16
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am with not discussing anything. I am in the same situation and it is SOOOO freakin annoying.

We don’t bring up anything. and they pry and pry and pry for answers. it SUCKS.


Good luck girl.. just keep your mouth zipped. and when they ask or pry.. just say “we just really want everything to be such a surprise for our guests!” and smile ๐Ÿ™‚

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