- 6 years ago
Ok so I thought maybe he would propose at Christmas because he has given a couple of hints and he KNOWS how much of a christmas geek I am. Seriously I LIVE for christmas. I count the weeks to it all year long (13). I feel like crying the day after. It’s mainly because I am so close to my family but since moving to Norfolk I only get to see them every 3-4 months.
Anyway I knew that SO was going to Australia to see his parents at Christmas so I knew I wouldn’t see him on the day itself but I just found out that he is booking an entire MONTH away in Aus and he said he’s not giving me my present until when he gets back.
So I have no job (not because I am lazy but because the company I worked for shut down, I have been searching endlessly and I’m applying to about 6 a day. Literally not a penny to my name, I can’t even buy food. SO has been supporting me for the past 2 months.
Anyway after learning he was going to be away for the entire month I have asked if he could buy me a train ticket, so I could at least go see my family for Christmas (This would be my xmas gift). He refuses saying he can’t afford too and he wants to give me my present when he comes back from the Aus.
I was completely heartbroken at the idea of waking up alone on christmas day and not seeing anyone. Also my dad has been through so much regarding his health and I have been so desperate to see him.
And now I know he isn’t planning on proposing at Christmas because I heard him on the phone tell the jewellers that he will have finished making payments by Febuary.
I am not looking for answers but I just wanted a place where I could express my upset and worry of being completely alone over Christmas. I can’t bare not to see my Grandmama, little sisters, parents and Twin. Whilst kkowing he’s going to be drinking having a ball in Australia :/