Post # 1
First, I want to say that I know it’s late and I’m a touch emotional right now, but I just have SO many bad feelings right now about my wedding. I don’t know if it’s cold feet or what, but I have become so stressed about planning the reception that I was ranting to my mother about how I don’t want to get married at all…to anyone….ever. So..I thought I’d give her a break(hehe) and come cry to the bees.
I have a tendency to get overwhelmed by stress, and once it starts snowballing…yikes. But as I’m planning my(year away) wedding/reception, I start getting completely freaked out, and all I see is a disaster. The wedding part isn’t the issue; that seems easy and I think it will go smoothly. But when it comes to the reception, all I can think is that someone is going to knock over the cake, someone will get too drunk and break something, some kid will start screaming, the food will be late, the DJ will play offensive music, someone will spill on my dress…I could go on forever. No matter what part I think about, all I can imagine is myself cringing for the entire reception for fear that something horrible will happen. I’m not excited…I’m dreading the entire thing and it’s making me really upset. I don’t even like thinking about my fiance’ right now because he makes me think about the wedding, which is turn makes me upset all over again. Maybe I’m just being a monster bride but I’m just such a mess right now. I’m pretty seriously considering just canceling the big party reception and just having cake at my mother’s house. Thank you so much to anyone who read this…I could use some advice on how to deal with the stress.
Post # 3
I would say So?? So the cake falls and nobody gets dessert? Or someone gets drunk? Or the DJ plays a hideous song. At the end of the day its you and your man, the man you love, getting married Those are just funny stories from the night! Nothing is perfect, nothing ever is. But most people won’t notice the stuff you will notice. So you shouldn’t sweat the small stuff.
I don’t want to sound at all not sympathetic to your stress but you might want to take a break. You are a year away, if you have the place picked out and it’s book you can take a breather. You don’t have to start planning that kind of stuff for a few months. Enjoy being engaged and enjoy your summer!
It’s easy to get wrapped up in stress but you can’t let it consume you and hinder your relationship with your fiance.
Your wedding day is your day! It shouldn’t be a living hell to plan because when the day gets here you aren’t even going to enjoy it and that will be a shame.
Post # 4
Thanks! I wish I had your attitude. I just want things to be beautiful and perfect…and while I know that’s not possible, I feel like every wedding planning book I’ve read has had such a negative tone to it. I feel like they all present the wedding day as a big obstacle course of problems, and you’re just supposed to see how many you can dodge.
I’m trying really hard to remember that ultimately what matters is that J and I are getting married…which kind of makes me wonder why I even need to bother planning all this in in the first place, since it makes me so stressed.
Post # 5
You’re right, what really matters is that you’re married! The reception is just celebrating that fact, and nothing else matters. Of course you want it to be beautiful, and it will be, but really if something happens at the reception life will go on.
Post # 6
Have you thought about a desitnation wedding with just your closest family and friends? Or a cute courthouse wedding? It sounds like the big wedding idea might not be your style. There is nothing wrong with that but it is something you should definitely talk to your fiance about.
I had major anxiety at first about my wedding because I am shy and hate being the center of attention. I started to get really excited about celebrating with everyone once we found a venue and started talking about the guest list though. The good news about the big reception is that if you hire the right caterer & a coordinator if you can afford it you will never know if anything goes wrong 🙂
Post # 7
i hope this doesn’t come across weird but i had the EXACT same issues with spiraling anxiety and have finally found something that works for me. i’m working with a counselor on cognitive behavioral therapy and it is doing wonders. after 10 weeks, the things that used to freak me out and send me ‘to my bed’ make me only slightly annoyed. you should seriously consider it! get a book from the library at the very least and read up on CBT.